So Close to Heaven
by amber2
Summary: Author Notes and Warnings 1xR, 2xR, 1xRx2, 3x4
1. Default Chapter

  
Preface  
  
  
  
So Close to Heaven is an idea that came to me and wouldn't let go for those of you over the last year that have been kind enough to read my attempts at sharing stories and shared your likes, dislikes and constructive criticism Thank you. This is actually different from anything I've ever tried first it's a story with mature love scenes something I've never ever attempted.  
  
I've come close suggested and done foreplay but not the deed it's self if that disturbs you or you are not of age please don't read because I don't want your parents killing or suing me since I'm as poor as a church mouse.  
  
Secondly this story has yaoi in it and I know there are those that won't like that I'm sorry this is my version of Relena finds out story. So if you hate Relena, find no redeeming quality in her what so ever please skip this story because it is obvious from the start this is a strong Pro Relena story.   
  
This also deviates from my norm because it's also a 1xRx2 yes I've written a threesome story because I got tired of there having to be a looser and it always being Relena. So if you have no problem with Heero with Relena and Duo then you've been warned. If you dislike Quatre and Trowa as a couple then be warned they are in this one.  
  
I want to Thank WarDove and Peygan who without their handholding I couldn't have gotten through the love scenes without hyperventilating and Liewe who gave it a read through and caught the things I missed. Lilias who helped my panic attack over what she felt was insignificant. And last but not least Katie (even though she prefers her yaoi) who dared me to do it and kept prodding me when I procrastinated. Sink or swim your right I'm glad I took the chance and tried something different. Thank you all for your patience with my insanity.  
  
  
  
  
  
Amber  
February 2001  



	2. Chapter 1

Title: So Close To Heaven  
Author: Amber  
Pairings: 1x2xR  
Warnings: I have taken a few liberties with characters personalities. I'm trying something different; this will be a 1x2xR born from the frustration of Relena finds out stories. Frankly I don't like the idea someone has to be a looser.. If you disagree about character representation here then accept my apologies and please select another story with my blessing having said that one needs to also be aware I'm jumping into the deep end and including graphic lemon scenes in this story that may not suit everyone's taste. Please also avoid, if one is not of age for mature love scenes this story is not for you either. Thank you.  
Disclaimer: Gundam belongs to Gundam and any scene or plot similarity to another person's story, movie or anime is purely coincidental.   
  
  
So Close to Heaven  
By Amber  
  
  
"Be careful what you set your heart on, for it will surely be yours...."  
Ralph Waldo Emerson.  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
  
  
Relena tiredly slid through the door of her townhouse leaning against it her eyes closed she sighed savoring the first peace and quiet of the day. The quick click of heels had her straightening as Agnes her housekeeper came into the foyer. "Ahh Miss Relena I didn't know you would be home this early."   
  
Relena smiled tiredly, "its eight o clock Agnes."   
  
She frowned, "aye I'm aware of that for you tis early." Her lips curved ruefully as her housekeeper began gearing up for the familiar scolding. Hoping to stall it she quickly passed her the briefcase and jacket and interrupted the muttering about lack of proper rest and diet. "Is Mr. Yuy here yet Agnes?" Pausing with her mouth open she eyed Relena knowingly she wasn't fooling her a bit.   
  
"Aye he's around here somewhere." Her Scottish accent thickened with irritation. Another one that doesn't eat enough to keep a bird alive." Agnes shrugged stalking off. "Don't ask me where though I swear the lad is part cat I can't keep up with him. Dinner is in an hour, you don't want me to come looking for you theres nothing worse than a cold brisket. You'll be at the table or tis the rubbish heap with it."   
  
Relena shook her head amused maybe I shouldn't have let Noin abscond with Pagan. Slowly she climbed the stairs trailing her hand along the smooth surface of the baluster she paused a soft glow came from the study, concentrating she could hear the steady clicking of the keys of the computer. She shook her head she wouldn't get him away anytime soon so she might as well get comfortable. Moving the opposite direction she toed the door to her bedroom open then closed it unbuttoning her jacket she slid it off along with her shoes. Sighing in pleasure she wiggled her feet before padding across to her vanity and sitting. She released her hair from the simple upsweep and picked up the brush. Closing her eyes she let the familiar rhythm relax her enough that when moist lips touched her cheek and slowly moved down her neck she simply tilted her neck to give him better access. "I wondered when you would pull yourself away from that laptop."   
  
"Hmm." She put the brush down and forced her eyes open she met his within the mirrored surface. Swinging around on the stool she forced him to step back as she stood. Relena smiled teasingly as her hands slid behind her releasing her skirt and letting it fall. "How was your day?"   
  
He smirked as his eyes drifted purposely down her body then his face briefly disappeared as he pulled his shirt over his head. Relena slowly moved forward she unbuttoned her shirt with each step it parted revealing more and more skin. She tilted her head smiling enigmatically as she rolled her shoulders letting the shirt flutter to the carpet brushing against him with her half clothed body she continued talking in a conversational tone.  
  
"That good hmm? You know Heero I had the hardest time." She trailed her hand down from his cheek to across his chest then around his back before drapping her arm around his neck and pulling herself against his body. "Concentrating today," she finished in a whisper.   
  
He cupped her face stroking his thumb back and forth against her cheekbone. "Are you still having that problem?" A loving smile curved her lips. "No you have my undivided attention." Heero moved suddenly lifting her in his arms. "Then I'll have to make sure I keep it that way."  
  
Heero whispered her name just before his lips covered her own and he followed her down onto the bed covering her completely from chest to groin. His mouth took hers with an aggressiveness that she craved as much as she did his love. She gave in willing to his strength, surrendering in his arms to the passion that washed through her, leaving her both restless and weak as she writhed sensuously beneath his body. She wanted to devour him. His mouth was hot and wet, relentless, as he seemed to be intent on reminding her of every moment they spent apart as he controlled the pace of their passion.   
  
Sighing her hands slid downward from his shoulders to his back, slipping from there to his ribs, waist and hips, before she raked her nails hungrily across his buttocks. She whimpered a protest as his hands caught hers and tugged them up over her head, holding her fast. His aroused body moved wantonly upon hers and she clenched and unclenched her fists helplessly, grasping at the bits of bed linen within reach. She whimpered his hungry mouth muffling the sound as she pulled her legs high about his torso to wrap them about his waist, holding him close to the aching center of her body she whispered against his lips. "Heero please just a touch.. or a taste."   
  
"Next time you make me too hot.. I come to fast," he murmured hoarsely against her lips.   
  
Then we'll do it again, and a again until we do it as slow as you want it. She tightened her legs around him and slowly rolled her damp crotch against his clothed erection. Heero switched hands caging both of hers within one of his while the other slid down her throat, and on to her breasts. He brushed them gently at first, letting his thumb softly circle her nipples. The shallow little pants were increasing in intensity as she tossed her head restlessly back and forth, caressing her breast once more he moved on. Sliding his hand down her ribs and stomach, his fingers splayed slipping it into the silken material of her panties.   
  
"Mmm you're so wet." He tugged them off then slid his hand back up her leg and into the honey colored curls of her pubic, down to the cleft between her thighs. His fingers dipped into the cleft, testing her readiness for him scraping a nail gently across her nub a strained smile flickered across his face as she arched upward. "O god Heero that's so good I need more. Please."  
  
Heero eased a finger in stroking her briefly before pulling out again. "No," her eyes snapped open in protest. "Heero don't stop." Jerking on her hands trying to free them she pleaded. "Heero."  
  
"I'm not stopping just making sure I have your attention." He said holding her gaze with a dark and heated promise then he slid within her creamy softness. Relena moaned eye lashes fluttered then closed. "Uh uh Relena watch." He commanded.  
  
With a shivery sigh her eyes fluttered open and met his own she watched him remove fingers slick with the evidence of her desire and lazily lick his fingers before sticking them within his mouth to suck on.  
  
Relena inhaled shakily, and then shifted her legs restlessly brushing them against his jean-clad legs. Her breath stuttered and stopped. "O god you're killing me." When his hand shifted downward again his fingers dipped back between her thighs. His fingers gently stroking her once more coating them again with the silky substance before lifting them to softly coat her nipples over and over he alternated between one and the other. "Heero.." She arched toward him.   
  
"You want me to stop?" He chided. "No." Seemingly satisfied he lowered his head flicking her nipple with his tongue then urged her higher with his lips and teeth and tongue, groaning he shifted stiffly trying give some temporary relief to his own unfulfilled need. She moaned, biting her lip to muffle the sound. Heero drew back studying her body with a smug look it was time divesting himself of the rest of his clothes he moved up her body pressing against her Relena purred at soft satin feel of skin on skin. He cupped the sides of her face then covered her lips in a hungry kiss. She whimpered tasting herself on his lips was strangely erotic leaning back he met her gaze.   
  
"Do you want me koi?" He whispered longingly.  
  
"Always.. I will always want you.. need you," she promised raggedly. For a split second the world spun dizzily and she found herself straddling him. "Heero?"   
  
"Go on, do it ride me I want to watch your face when you come." Sliding her hands across his chest she lightly teased his nipples watching them harden with each passing. Leaning forward she brushed her lips against his, soft tantalizing their tongues mingled and caressed her eyes never left his as she pulled back and slowly started inching him into her body. Once he was within a hoarse hiss slid through tightly clenched teeth.   
  
Relena eyes fluttered almost closing as she savored the feeling of completeness. Her eyes opened when she felt Heero's arm lift his thumb stroking her cheek in gentle reminder. "Eyes open Relena I want to be the first thing and the last thing you see." Relena smiled.   
  
Rocking her hips, clenching and unclenching her muscles she ground herself against his groin, taking his hands she lifted them to her neck slowly sliding them down her throat and her chest. Guiding his hands over her breasts she had him cup them pushing them up and together she leaned forward. He met her half way as she made them an offering for his consumption changing her rhythm to slow shallow thrusts they watched each others frank enjoyment in the others body with a hungry intensity.   
  
Watching him lick, suck, and nip at her nipples was the final straw to her already overloaded system moving her hands to his shoulder her excitement increased her movements faster and faster she knew it would be anytime now and she was determined he come with her. Clenching her muscles as much as she could on the outstroke pressing into him tightly while her hands glided over as much of his body as she could reach, she scraped her nails in reflex across warm slippery flesh as she struggled to hang on. Relena watched his face tighten and whimpered. "Come for me Relena," he said hoarsely.   
  
Shaking her head she panted. "Together."   
  
"Together it is then" slipping his hand between their bodies he gently pinched the swollen nub. She stiffened her movements faltering she sucked in a much-needed breath then held it as every nerve ending in her body throbbed and pulsed. Distantly she felt Heero's hands tighten to a punishing grip on her waist as held her body while it convulsed around him in what seemed like a unending orgasm. "Beautiful," he sighed.  
  
He watched her poised above him back arched in ecstasy a dream come to life as she clenched around his organ the hunger, amazement. The lust blind eyes that stared into his with a look of wonder he always felt he would never be on the receiving end of. "Now," he rasped.   
  
Sitting up he wrapped his arm around her waist, and pulled her in tight increasing his rhythm to the extent that he was slamming into her. He rocked forward his movements smoothly coordinated and older than time as he thrust into her one final time and stiffened. Heero cupped her neck with the other hand and pulled her face close enough to his to share the same quivering breath as his orgasm began. In awe she watched as his eyes widened helplessly, his movements became more frantic and jerky as he became a creature of pure sensation riding out the spasms until they slowed then gradually ceased.   
  
Relena smiled at the softness in his face, the drowsy contentment in his eyes as he solemnly stared into hers brushing his bangs back she trailed kisses across his eyes. Her lips moved whisper soft across his forehead, his cheeks finally his mouth showing him her love in only way he wasn't frightened of. Relena pulled his face in the crook of her neck and shoulder so he couldn't see her silently mouth I love you. Heero leaned back pulling her with him and tucking her against his shoulder.   
  
"We really should go eat before Agnes throws it in the garbage. Are you hungry?" She felt him gently running his fingers through her hair, before moving on to trace the curve of her ear then softly toy with her earring. "Not anymore," he murmured. "I have everything I want."   
  
  
The dinner hour came and went. Agnes stood looking at the table with her hands on her hips shaking her head she stomped up the stairs pausing outside the mistress room she she lifted her hand to knock only to hesitate at the sound of muted cries and breathy moans. Smiling wryly she headed back downstairs to place the food in the warmer.  
  
  
Smoothing a stray strand of hair back into her chignon she moved silently toward the bed. Standing there in the half- light an intense wave of love rose it was becoming harder to suppress than before and becoming increasingly more unwilling to be denied. A wistful smile ghosted across her face as Relena leaned down making a motion to smooth those rebellious strands of hair back from his face when her hand was grasped before she reached him.   
  
Eyes of the darkest blue and just as piercing locked in on her face more alert in seconds than she was after being up several hours. "I have to go," she murmured. His grip softened and he allowed her to softly brush his cheek. Catching a flash of light she brushed his hair away from his ear. Blinking she lifted her hand to finger her bare one.  
  
"Heero?" Puzzled she searched his face trying to understand. "When?" His eyebrow lifted questioningly when she said nothing more.  
  
She smiled and shook her head continuing to stroke his cheek. "Why, why did you do it?" His eyes narrowed cautiously. Relena felt her smile turn wry that was her Heero she leaned down and nibbled against his lips playfully resisting his efforts to deepen the kiss.   
  
"Never mind why it looks sexy on you," she said teasingly. I'll miss you my Heero." She pulled back enough to stare into eyes turned hazy with passion. "Did it hurt?" Heero blinked at the sudden deviation.   
  
"Did yours hurt."   
  
For a moment she wondered if they were talking about something else but if they were she couldn't figure it out so she answered him seriously. "No I wanted it so bad I barely felt it." An odd look entered his eyes.   
  
"I wanted something of yours to carry with me." He watched her curiously to see what she would say or do next. Relena leaned down and covered his mouth with hers, there was a wet sucking sound as their lips parted. "You don't need a piece of jewelry to carry me with you but it's yours now with my blessing."   
  
Eyes shuttered he nodded. She sighed mentally, running again ehh Heero?   
  
Relena straightened heading for the door, pausing she stopped this was ridiculous she had never stifled how she felt or what she thought for anyone enough already. Maybe it was a mistake but at the rate they were tiptoeing around she'd be a senior citizen before she knew where he stood. She had been taking chances since she was fifteen why was it easier with one's life than heart? Time to stop hiding.  
  
He watched her suddenly turn and move purposely back across the room bending down Relena slid her tongue across his lower lip, nipping it she waited until his mouth opened before she slid her hands in his hair fisting it so he couldn't move. She tilted her head covering his mouth with her own she quickly found their tongues dueling for dominance as she tried to find an angle to get deeper access to absorb him into her system. Their breathing grew labored and louder as their kisses became more frenzied his lips found her mouth again, and again, his tongue tasting the sweetness of hers.   
  
Relena reluctantly pulled back resting her forehead against his her eyes holding his with a solemn promise. "You don't need it Heero because you've always had my heart that's what's important . I love you." Not waiting for his response or his reaction she slipped away. Relena didn't get very far because his hand snagged hers pulling her effortlessly back down to him. He cupped her face his gaze probing.  
  
"Relena can you see it?" His eyes searched hers urgently. "Tell me. It's all right if you can't nothing has to change."  
  
She smiled tremulously just a little disappointed he still couldn't just say it she saw the pain, need, the little boy who stared out at her from the adults body still not quite ready to trust but so desperate for that unconditional love. He needed her once again to be the bridge between his insecurities and her love. "It's all right Heero I see it." She rubbed her lips gently back and forth against his her breath lightly teasing his face. "I'll be here when you're ready to say it."  
  
  
  
Sipping her tea she flipped another page over as she lost herself in the diplomatic babble that was wasting enormous amounts of paper on saying allot of nothing. Quietly the door opened and closed and near silently tread crossed the carpet the man stood there watching the emotions flicker across her face in quiet amusement before gently placing his hands on her shoulders and start kneading. Startled her head snapped up and she met smiling violet eyes and a broad grin. "How's it going gorgeous?"   
  
"Duo you nut you scared me." His eyebrow quirked skeptically, "I doubt that. Don't let Heero catch you sitting with your back to the door." Reaching up she gave his braid a sharp tug.   
  
"Hey gently angel I'm sensitive."  
  
"Umm hmm," she stared at him sternly.  
  
"Sheesh you've been around spandex boy to much." She laughed. "You better not let him catch you calling him that."   
  
"Ready for lunch?" She blinked at the sudden switch in topics. "Lunch?" Biting the inside of her cheek to smother a smile she stood picking up her papers she crossed the room sliding them within the safe after she secured it she felt confident enough that her look was completely innocent. Turning she leaned back against the bookshelves and eyed him quizzically. "Did we make plans that I've forgotten?" He stared at her suspiciously.   
  
"You mean you don't know?"  
  
Inside she giggled gotcha. "Know what?"   
  
"O man your kidding me right? You forgot?" Careful now too uninterested and he'll suspect. "Duo?" Straightening up she moved quickly across the room. "What is it? Is something wrong?" His face fell swinging around his shoulders slumped looking all the world like a disappointed little boy. Placing her hand on his back she stroked gently downward before taking his braid in her hand.   
  
"Duo?" She walked around in front of him gently brushing the end back and forth against her cheek it was silky smooth it surprised her a little at how soft it was. Relena tilted her head thoughtfully time to be getting back to the issue at hand good thing she was a softie. "Duo come on tell me what's wrong?"   
  
He stared at her mournfully "I just thought maybe you." He waved his hands trying to explain without looking like a fool. "Nothing," he exhaled noisily.   
  
Pushing his bangs up and out of his face she leaned in peering upward. "You thought I forgot your birthday," she finished for him. Smiling at him humorously. Unable to help it she giggled, swishing the end of his braid across his cheek teasingly she let it fall. Stepping over to her desk she pulled it open, setting a box and an envelope on the desk in front of him. "You can open them now or while we're having lunch its your birthday you choose."   
  
He whooped, "now!"   
  
She laughed, "somehow I thought that's what you would say."  
  
Ripping open the envelope he opened the card two pieces of clear plastic slipped to the ground. "Easy Duo you know how hard it was to get those."  
  
"Hey alright Madelynn Hanson."   
  
"Hmm mmm and there's an extra there in case you manage to talk Hilde into going," she teased. He shrugged, "if she doesn't I'll take you." She shook her head. "No way no mosh pitts for me."   
  
"Come on princess live dangerously."   
  
"I do, I am.."   
  
"Ha."   
  
"Now what's that suppose to mean?" He stared at her intently a moment before a teasing grin appeared. "It means if you went it would be the last soiree you would want to attend."   
  
"Maybe," she grinned. Picking up the small box she waved it back and forth. "One more birthday boy." He smiled opening it up she watched his face anxiously he had such an arrested expression on his face she couldn't tell if he was pleased or not.   
  
"Duo?" She bit her lip. "Do you like it?"   
  
Silently he took it from the box and lifted it up he stared as if mesmerized. For some reason she found herself ridiculously nervous she started babbling. "I remembered Hilde saying you had a cross but you don't wear it for fear of loosing it so I thought I would get you one you could wear. I mean I know it's not the same but." Relena drew a breath and blew it out and up. " Duo was I wrong? We can go and exchange it of you want."  
  
Shaking his head he pulled her into a hug "I love it. It's perfect," he said huskily. She pulled away enough to see his face. "You sure?" He nodded, "help me? He held it up.   
  
She smiled relieved. "Ok sit somewhere." Looking around thoughtfully she gestured. "There the edge of the desk is fine or I'll never reach you."   
  
Stepping between his legs, she took the necklace standing on her tiptoes she gently draped it around his neck sliding the clasp around where she could see it she leaned in. Duo lifted his hands to her waist and steadied her subtly drawing her closer he dipped his head and inhaled closing his eyes he savored the delicate scent of wildflowers in her hair and the illusive fragrance that seemed to be a permanent part of her skin and clothes. "There." Regretfully he let her pull back and arrange his necklace studying it critically a moment she nodded. "It's you."  
  
Smiling lazily he lifted her chin with his knuckle he kept his movements slow and deliberate giving her the chance to stop him if she wanted. Duo searched her eyes a moment longer looking for something she couldn't quite interpret. Then déjà vu hit her for a split second time warped back to the hallway outside Hilde's hospital room her compassionate nature had once more led her into the deep end leaving her feeling like Alice in the looking glass.   
  
Nervously she shifted under his watchful gaze her mind all to easily supplying a collage of memories that she had almost convinced herself was imagined. She had heard Duo's friend had been injured and stopped in to visit before heading to earth. What she found was Duo's rage and bewilderment but more importantly his need to be reassured or so she had convinced herself.   
  
Relena tried to offer reassurance. Still long afterwards her mind lingered over how he had pulled her close holding her like he never intended to let go, his body hardening from the close proximity of hers. Finally the hungry, urgent way his mouth claimed hers and the very moment she had started to respond she panicked. Pulling away Relena stared at the longing and needy pleading in his eyes as she slowly backed away before nerve broke and she whirled and ran. At the time she never knew if it was him she ran from or herself.   
  
"Hey where are you?" He brushed a fingertip down her cheek. Relena blinked owlishly returning to the present and those same hungry eyes which were staring at her mouth like a cannibal stranded on an island with vegetarians.. Uhh oo.. His eyes dropped to her mouth lingering nervously clearing her throat she said the first thing that came to mind.   
  
"Are you hungry?"   
  
His smile held tender amusement, before deliberately leaning closer brushing her lips softly her eyes widened then fluttered and closed her breath hitched then a shaky sigh, delicate and soft, trembled on her lips. "Duo.." Her voice trailed off weakly.   
  
"Shhh." He rubbed his thumb back and forth across her bottom lip. "It's just me." She forced her eyes open and stared at him uncertainly.   
  
"Duo what are you doing?" He trailed the back of his knuckles against her cheek then reversed his path his palm cupped her face while his thumb started absently stroking the edge of her eyebrow. "Mm what does it feel like I'm doing?"   
  
Puzzled she searched his face. "But why?"   
  
He shrugged, "I had to," he replied cryptically. "Heero." She began her voice was a throaty, uncertain whisper.   
  
"I know." An odd light appeared in his eyes before he lowered his lids hiding his expression. Putting on a deliberately pouty face. "Does than mean you don't love me?" Startled she laughed in spite of the tension.   
  
"You're a menace I suppose if I think about it long enough I could come up with a few reasons why you're so loveable."   
  
"Good." Standing up he draped his arm around her shoulders and hugged. "You can tell me each and every one while you take me to lunch along with why you only have one earring.."   
  
Relena blinked a delicate bush stained her cheeks as she absently fingered her ear. "Good grief, I forgot all about that."   
  
Duo smirked, "hmm mm I think there's more to it but have it your way. Hello earth to Lena come on I'm starving here."  
  
"Ok, ok." Leaning over the desk she grabbed her purse from the drawer before hurrying across the room she stopped suddenly. "You really do like your presents?"   
  
"I'll treasure them always even my first kiss by a princess." Smiling silently she shook her head at his antics and let him guide her out the door.   
  
  
  
  
  
February 2001  
  
  



	3. Chapter 2

Title: So Close To Heaven  
Author: Amber  
Pairings: 1x2xR  
Warnings: I have taken a few liberties with characters personalities. I'm trying something different; this will be a 1x2xR born from the frustration of Relena finds out stories. Frankly I don't like the idea someone has to be a looser.. If you disagree about character representation here then accept my apologies and please select another story with my blessing having said that one needs to also be aware I'm jumping into the deep end and including graphic lemon scenes in this story that may not suit everyone's taste. Please also avoid, if one is not of age for mature love scenes this story is not for you either. Thank you.  
Disclaimer: Gundam belongs to Gundam and any scene or plot similarity to another person's story, movie or anime is purely coincidental.   
  
So Close to Heaven  
By Amber  
  
  
Chapter 2  
  
  
"I want to thank you for picking me up Relena. I wanted this to be a surprise and it looks like this year I might actually pull it off." Relena smiled briefly at the small dark haired woman before quickly glancing back at the road. "Not a problem we were planning a surprise party in the conference room anyway his apartment is a shoebox."   
  
Hilde laughed, "yes well it makes more sense to do it this way I guess and he really wants to help the Preventers but we're also trying to save money one day I'm going to get that man to the alter. It's just so hard some times." She suddenly grinned, "besides it's only for a little while and when we do see each other we make up for lost time."   
  
Relena smiled wistfully at the words implied. Unbidden the look on his face this morning when he kissed her flashed through her mind. Shifting restlessly she felt like she had betrayed Hilde no she shook off her uncertainty and focused on the immediate it wasn't like that. "Are you sure you want to go straight there we can stop by my place and let you get freshened up if you want?"   
  
Hilde laughed, "are you saying I stink?" Relena's mouth dropped open.   
  
"Lord no."   
  
Her eyes narrowed, "cute very cute."   
  
Hilde giggled, "no thanks Relena I don't want to waste any time I just want to see Duo." Relena nodded sympathetically.   
  
"I know what you mean there doesn't seem to be enough time in the day for how much you want to be with them."   
  
"Heero?" She asked hesitantly having met him once she still wasn't sure what to make of the silent taciturn man. Relena lips tilted briefly at the unspoken reserve.   
  
"Heero. We're taking one day at a time and hopefully some day he'll let me all the way in." Hilde eyed her in awe, "your braver than I am."   
  
Relena glanced at her quickly in skeptical amusement. "So says the girl that helped bring down Libra."   
  
"That was different.."   
  
"Uum hmm." Relena nodded before signaling to turn off the exit ramp.  
  
"No I'm serious." Relena pulled up to the gate and stopped flashing the guard her ID she waited patiently for him to let them through before meeting Hilde's earnest gaze.   
  
"I can see that."   
  
She slowly pulled forward before composing her thoughts enough to explain. "I know in some circles I'm a joke because of my feelings about Heero but I can't change that even if I wanted to so I concentrate on what I can change." She pulled into the spot delegated for visitors and turned off the engine letting the silence grow.   
  
"Doesn't it frighten you giving him that much control over your heart? Your life while he stays safely noncommittal?"   
  
"Of course," she said her tone so hushed it almost went unheard. Relena turned to meet her worried gaze. "Falling in love with Heero was effortless if happened before I even knew it. Finding the strength to go on and endure those years without him was most difficult thing I've ever done but I knew he needed that time to adjust. It was something I couldn't do for him." She shook off her gloomy thoughts and smiled winningly at Hilde. "Come on don't worry I'm happy and I can be patient for now." Relena swung from the car coming around to meet her at the passenger side. "Why don't we leave your bags here we come back for them later?"  
  
"Ok." Hilde slid her arm through Relena's and squeezed. "I can't thank you enough for helping me I'm so excited this will be great I finally managed to surprise him." Laughing they made their way inside striding through the near deserted halls there seemed something ominous about the echoing of their heels as they repeatedly connected with the polished floors.   
  
Stopping at Lady Anne's door she nudged it open it and frowned. "Hmm looks like her secretary is gone already." She pushed the door all the way open. "Come on we'll peek in her office I thought there was suppose to be some sort of hush hush meeting this evening which is why it seemed a waste to ask Heero if he wanted to come with me." Softly taping on the door Relena waited for acknowledgement.  
  
"Ooooo." Hilde crooned spookily, "this is perfect setting for a horror movie." Relena glanced at her and grinned.   
  
"In this building not likely." Opening the door she looked around the office. "Lady Anne? Lady?" Pulling the door closed she stood there frowning.   
  
"Relena?"   
  
"Hmm .."   
  
"What's wrong?"   
  
"Well I just.. nothing she shook her head. They must be finished."   
  
"Who's going to deliver Duo? Heero?"   
  
Relena's lips twitched humorously. "Can you see Duo buying that? It would be a dead give away I didn't even get the chance to tell Heero. No he'd buy me showing up spontaneously at last minute a lot easier. She smiled wryly, that leaves me hoping against hope Heero won't shoot anyone when they yell surprise."   
  
Hilde snorted , "good luck."   
  
"Thanks pal," she said dryly. "Your allot of comfort. Well lets get on with it."   
  
They moved down the silent halls passing a few officers here and there but it was more than obvious that a skeletal staff at best was present within the building. Turning the corner Relena slammed into someone, falling back a bit she stifled a squeal as she felt strong arms grab and steady her. "O Miss. Relena I'm so sorry."   
  
"Quatre." She placed her hand over her heart and laughed before hugging him hello. "That's all right no harm done the atmosphere is a bit spooky." She exchanged a look with Hilde.   
  
Quatre bowed, "Miss Hilde its lovely to see you again." She grinned.   
  
"Hi Quatre, how's it going?" He smiled, "it's going well."   
  
Relena lowered her voice. "Is everything in place?" He grinned and nodded, "we even managed to get Wufei to stop grumbling long enough to agree to come." Relena's lips twitched. "This I'm eager to see."   
  
"Ok Quatre, point me in the right direction and we'll get this party started. Where is he?"   
  
"Security saw him head into Heero's office about forty minutes ago. Hilde laughed, "you had security keeping track of him?"   
  
Quatre smiled, "we didn't want him ruining his own party he loves surprises but if we act suspicious he wouldn't stop..."  
  
"Until he knew what was going on..." Hilde and Quatre finished in smiling concert.   
  
Relena nodded thoughtfully before looking at Hilde speculatively. "You want to spring your surprise now or later?" She shifted excitedly from foot to foot. "Now please."   
  
Quatre nodded understandingly. "This way then."   
  
He led them through the hall to a set of offices the outer one was dark and silent but a faint trace of light shown underneath the inner one and the quite murmur of sounds could be heard. Relena looked at Quatre and inclined her head inquiringly. Nodding he looked at them for a moment a slight frown creased his brow concerned Relena touched his arm inquiringly. He shook his head negating the concern and smiled as Hilde stifled a giggle.   
  
Relena lifted her finger to her mouth indicating silence before quietly moving through the outer office. Drawing a breath she looked back shaking her head wryly at Hilde's antics and waved them back a bit before turning once more. Smoothing her expression into one of innocence she knocked softly not wanting to disturb them if it was important. She frowned as the voices grew in rhythm and she wondered for a split second if he was in a meeting. Swinging back she looked at her cohorts who shooed her on shrugging she knocked again when nothing happened she turned the knob and looked in skimming the empty desk she silently peered around the door toward the small couch against the wall.  
  
Breath froze as time stood still a terrible pain started from the depths of her soul and climbed building in intensity and strength until she fully expected to have someone turn to see what all the screaming was about but no one did. The door slipped from her grasp slowly inching inward by increments. So much for vigilance. They hadn't faltered once in their thrusting amazing. She lifted a shaken hand to her mouth to still the trembling they didn't even know she was there. Idly she wondered why they hadn't locked the door anyone could walk in on them and had or was the great Heero Yuy above interlopers entering unannounced? Apparently she was the only lucky recipient of this show.  
  
She stood there transfixed there was a terrible beauty in their movements and she found herself as much drawn to their expression of love as she was hurt by it. Two vibrant young beings the affection the love all was evident regardless of the gender. No her mind shied away from that thought not quite ready to deal with it. Stick to incidentals Relena. Part of Duo's hair had come unbraided the ends flowed down his back and sides like a separate entity as he tossed his head from side to side. Honesty compelled her to admit his look of ecstasy was enthralling she felt her breathing unwillingly quicken to join theirs as they anticipated their release. There was a hunger, a fluidness of movement without awkwardness or hesitation it spoke of a long-term familiarity and a deep understanding of what each partner needed physically and mentally.   
  
She watched fascinated when Heero's face suddenly tightened as they reached their climax and he hissed his release. Distracted her eyes followed a drop of sweat down Heero's back until it reached his buttocks as if it was the most important thing in the universe and all she could think was if he loved Duo that much why was he with her?   
  
"Relena?" Hilde called softly.. But as softly as it was it was enough for her. No not anymore not hers.. never had been apparently... The perfect soldier to hear. He stiffened head swinging around his eyes locked with hers quicksilver emotions came and went to quickly for her to make sense of them. "Relena."   
  
Beneath him Duo struggled to stand. "Lena," he whispered. "god I ."   
  
"Happy Birthday Duo. I'm sorry." She gave a glassy eyed smile. "I knocked but you didn't hear me so I waited until you finished." She husked  
  
"Lena?" Hilde called out. Numbly Relena watched Duo's efforts to hastily dress in comparison to Heero's calm and methodical actions. Turning her head slightly she heard Hilde's rapid footsteps approaching stepping back she pulled the door to and turned stepping in front of the entrance. "Hey what's the hold up?"   
  
"Hil," her first attempt faltered clearing her throat she dug deep and tried again but her tone sounded strained even to her own ears. "Hilde lets step down to the conference room and wait they  
will meet us there." Hilde frowned studying the pale woman before her it seemed like every bit of the color and life had been leeched out of her.   
  
"Relena?" Lifting blind eyes toward Quatre's hesitant voice she watched him wince. "Its all right Quatre." She heard her voice come from a distance. "Now just isn't a good time."   
  
Hilde's expression cleared and she smiled reassuringly. "Hey it'll be fine it's his birthday after all I've never known him to pass up junk food. Relena?" She blinked her mind scrambled to make sense out of what Hilde just said and came up blank. Hilde frowned stepping around Relena she pushed the door open and trilled surprise.  
  
"No Hilde, wait! " Relena made a belated grab and missed. Relena closed her eyes and waited for the obvious to become evident. The gasp the pained cry of betrayal she envied her that ability to give voice to it.  
  
Her eyes snapped open when she felt her hand forced off her skirt and then clasped between the comforting warmth of two others lifting her eyes to his she clung to understanding she saw there like it was the only thing on earth keeping her sane. "  
  
"Quatre it hurts." She lost track of how long they stood there eyes locked with each other him silently offering what comfort he could the sounds of anger and pleading followed with murmured explanations drifted away interspersed occasionally with Heero's flat tone.  
  
Distantly she felt Hilde brush past her at a run and silence descend on the office. "Did you know?" He eyed her with eyes full of sorrow and pain.  
  
"Duo and Heero never said a word." Relena squeezed his hand before slipping free she turned back into the room her mouth kicked up at the corner in a failed mimicry of a smile they stood at opposite ends of the room. She cleared her throat.   
  
"Relena I."   
  
"Don't." Meeting Heero's enigmatic look she seriously felt like she was loosing her mind the urge to take him apart with her bare hands was over whelming especially when he merely asked why she had come. She laughed cynically. "It's Duo's birthday Heero. Hilde asked me to pick her up so she could surprise him at his party. Surprise."  
  
"Duo?" He lifted his troubled gaze to hers but she found looking at him painful so her eyes locked in on Heero's as she braced herself for the answer she knew before she opened her mouth.   
  
"How long Duo? How long have you and Heero been seeing each other?" Interesting was that a slight flinch my Heero? What is there to flinch at now?   
  
"Lena I."   
  
"How long?"  
  
"A while listen.."   
  
"A while is that six months? Eight? A year, two, what Duo how long does it take to find the words to tell me we're screwing the same man?" He winced bracing himself he met her gaze with pleading eyes.   
  
"We've seen each other on and off since right after Mariemaia." Her eyes slid closed before she could stop it she forced them open through sheer will moving close enough to reach out and touch Heero she held his gaze while she sought her answers from Duo.   
  
"Seen? I guess from her reaction Hilde didn't know either?" She offered conversationally before bracing herself to address Heero. "It never bothered you, the lying the sneaking around? You couldn't trust me with the truth?"  
  
"Relena."   
  
Her eyebrow lifted, " Tell me Heero." She moved close enough that there bodies touched looking up into his eyes intently. "What do you see?" They shared a look his softened with some silent appeal regret love yearning? He lifted his hand to cup her cheek when she flinched moving abruptly beyond reach.   
  
Swinging around she moved toward the door pausing in the entrance she glanced back her look encompassed them both. They stared fascinated some of the most dangerous men on the planet watching her with something akin to wariness and worry. Any other time disconcerting them would have been a triumph it was difficult to hold ones on with such strong personalities even on her best days unfortunately at the moment she couldn't enjoy much of anything.   
  
"Congratulations gentleman love is a precious thing apparently you've found it." Relena bowed. "I'm sorry you felt you couldn't be honest with me in the beginning but what's done is done. I'm not so cruel as to bother you anymore."  
  
  
"Relena wait."  
  
Swing out of the room she paused glancing around for Quatre before continuing on with strides just short of running. Heero's voice hoarse with some unnamed emotion asking me to stop echoed in a relentless beat to match the rhythm of my steps. Slowing slightly Relena pulled out her cell phone.   
  
"Agnes hmm no not tonight but I need two things I want a locksmith out to the house within the hour money is no object I want my locks changed now. Leave me a key, yes. You know where. Secondly I want Heero's things packed and sent to Duo's apartment. Yes I'm sure. Not now Agnes." Her voice cracked.   
  
"Lets just say we've mutually agreed to some time apart. Thank you I appreciate your kind thoughts I want you and the staff to take a few days off." She winced. "No," she said firmly. "I appreciate it Agnes but I need some time alone once the locks are dealt with and Heero's things returned go on a holiday my treat hell take a month. Thank you yes I hope so too. Goodbye."   
  
Rounding the corner she slammed into the second person for the night and like the first time she felt strong hands cup her shoulders to steady her. Unlike the first time she didn't scream. Glancing up quickly she took in the Asian features, the tightly restrained hair now shoulder length peace and time had done much to mature him still the trademark look of barely concealed impatience was a dead give away.   
  
O lord not tonight. "I beg your pardon." Nodding she made to move around him.   
  
"Minister? Quatre sent me to make sure you were all right."   
  
Relena stopped. "Why wouldn't I be? And please for the love of god call me Relena if anyone can maintain propriety and decorum and still use my given name it would be you."   
  
She felt him shrug more than saw him. "Very well. Relena. Only you could answer if you are alright."   
  
She nodded, "your right. If you'll excuse me I must hurry." Once more she moved around him and continued on stiffening when he fell into step with her. Closing her eyes she stopped struggling for patience. "Was there something more I can do for you Colonel?"   
  
His eyebrow lifted at her tone but other than that he ignored it. "With the lateness of the hour I thought I would escort you to your car. And if we are forsaking formality my name is Wufei"   
  
Relena laughed tautly, her hands clenching. "Wufei I don't think the danger is assassins or terrorists I will be fine on my own so your escort while appreciated won't be necessary."   
  
He stared at her his expression unreadable. "Lying doesn't become you." Relena blinked looking momentarily nonpulsed before she shook her head and continued on. "Do what you want I don't have time for this I have to catch Hilde."   
  
"Schbeiker? Quatre went after her." Relena stopped yet again and stared at him blankly. "After her? Where is she? She can't leave I have her things in my car."   
  
The corner of his mouth lifted slightly. "She is as reckless as Maxwell and over the years nothing I've seen has changed that assessment I doubt that would have stopped her." The scene in the office replayed in slow motion behind closed lids.   
  
"Maybe not, she whispered hoarsely."   
  
Her eyes snapped open at the hand on her forearm. "Ms. Darlian? Relena?" He amended. Focusing on the impersonal concern in his eyes she forced a conciliatory smile.   
  
"I'm fine shall we then I don't want to trouble you any longer than necessary." Without waiting she moved on entering the elevator for the descent to the lobby a hundred and one inconsequential things ran thru her mind why was leaving taking three times longer than the trip inside had? Staring at the pale composed face looking back at her within the elevators polished walls her bare ear seemed to mock her no one knowing her would guess she had just had her world ripped apart yet again unless they looked into her eyes.  
  
Maybe she wasn't meant to find happiness maybe in another life she had horribly wronged someone and now it was coming back to haunt her. A derisive smile twisted her mouth before sadness once more weighed her down. Not much longer she chanted then I can let my guard down. An uncomfortable silence had descended over the elevator and the ride downward while brief seemed rife with tension. Glancing out of the corner of her eye at Wufei it appeared here was another one that nothing bothered. Leaning back against the wall of the elevator with his eyes closed and arms crossed against his chest he reminded her of a panther she saw once at a preserve power and lethalness carefully reserved until needed. Lost in her thoughts she didn't realize the elevator had stopped and the doors opened until she felt him move to keep the doors from closing.   
  
Wufei stood there staring at her with a thoughtful look on his face and she wondered what her own had revealed in those moments. Was the mask she used to hold the world at bay cracking? Relena swallowed feeling like her emotions were trying to choke her. Dismayed she realized Wufei had been holding the elevator doors open patiently waiting on her to exit. Nodding her thanks they entered the lobby the click of her heels echoed eerily around the nearly deserted building but try as she might she couldn't hear the steps of the man beside her. How ironic it seemed everything was determined to hammer home just how alone she truly was.   
  
The shrill ringing of her cell phone dragged her from her self-pity into the present. "Darlian." Wufei moved to a respectful distance to her privacy and found himself watching with more curiosity than normal as a slight smile flitted across her face. "Quatre."   
  
Concerned he watched as the sorrow descended once more what could have happened to make a strong woman so frail in such a short amount of time. "Where is she now? Alright tell her I'm coming over now to bring her things. Quatre is she sure this is what she wants to do?" Relena closed her eyes her hand absently rubbing the side of her temple. Very well I understand. I'll see you in a few minutes."   
  
Closing the phone she stood there staring into space. "Relena?" She looked at him blankly. "Are you ready?" She looked at him with such pain and sorrow.   
  
"No but then when has that mattered." Turning she slowly moved out the doors with him following thoughtfully behind they reached her car in silence but it was one now more comfortable than strained. Touching her arm to halt her he moved ahead to give the car a thorough going over before she entered once he was satisfied he opened her door and stepped courteously back. She moved to the driver side tossing her things in.  
  
"Relena!" Glancing back over her shoulder she stiffened she didn't want to do this not now.   
  
Wufei sighed impatiently, "baka he doesn't have the sense to know when it's time to hold and when to let go." Watching the emotions flicker across her face he chose his words with a care he seldom bothered to exercise she looked for the first time since he had known of her existence. Fragile.   
  
"Maxwell will wait. You do not owe him peace of mind at the expense of your own." Looking at him she reminded him nothing more than of a bewildered child that had been punished for a transgression she couldn't comprehend. "You know?"   
  
He stared at her enigmatically. "Only what your eyes tell me and Quatre's concern about your upset have shown me."   
  
"Relena!" She turned again watching him run across the parking lot getting closer and closer. Looking Wufei in the eye a smile of thanks trembled and died but the questions in her eyes remained. "You surprise me Col Chang I had heard you loath weakness they neglected to say you could be merciful and kind."   
  
He inclined his head. "Then we are both surprised this night because I would never have guessed you were the type to form an opinion on gossip."   
  
Her voice broke slightly but other than that her expression remained composed. "Yes well I've had several of my certainties rocked tonight one has to utilize everything they can when it involves survival. You've been kind and discreet in you assistance tonight I thank you. I believe I will accept your advice and take my leave now before Mr. Maxwell arrives please give him my regrets about missing his party."  
  
He nodded as she climbed in, other than the lifting of his eyebrow he said nothing further and for that she was thankful. Her reserves were running low right now and her trip in to hell had one more detour before she could lock herself in and grieve. Meeting his eyes through the glass she mouthed thank you as she pulled away never realizing that silent tears slid down her face already giving expression to her grief.  
  
  
Wufei watched Duo run after the car a few feet before he swore turning his anger on him. "Damn it Wu you heard me calling her why didn't you stop her?"   
  
"Because the woman didn't want to talk to you Maxwell wasn't that obvious?"   
  
"Was she ok? Was Hilde with her?"   
  
"No."   
  
"What do you mean no?"  
  
"She left earlier the Minister was going to meet her. And no she wasn't OK."   
  
"Damn it we hurt them both." Rubbing his hands across his face he slumped. "I screwed up Wu."   
  
"You're about to screw up again as you so eloquently put it. Stop calling me Wu." He studied Duo speculatively when he didn't rise to the taunt as he normally would. "Kisama Maxwell please tell me you weren't that stupid?" He asked incredulously.  
  
Duo looked up staring at him in silent misery. "You were. Darlian caught you with Yuy and neither of you thought to prepare her beyond the obvious? Did you two really think Darlain would never find out? Or were you hoping she would find out on her own breaking Yuy's status quo?" Duo glared at him silently a moment before his head dropped hiding his expression. "Who or what are you mourning Maxwell Schibecker's friendship or Relena's?"  
  
Duo's head snapped up again his eyes narrowed. "Relena? Since when did you call any woman other than Sally something other than onna or their last name? " Duo stared at Wufei intently but whatever he was thinking or feeling he couldn't tell his face remained unreadable in the shadowed light of the moon.   
  
"Since she asked me to." He said simply. He shrugged there was no figuring Wufei unless he wanted you to he was like Heero that way shoving his hands into the pocket of his jeans his troubled gaze went again toward the direction the car disappeared.   
  
"Amazing." Wufei continued thoughtfully. "Didn't the two of you ever once consider the consequences of your actions? Did you think because of her feelings for you she would miraculously ignore years worth of lies?" He shook his head staring at the direction the car disappeared. "Your right you have much to answer for." He turned back studying his silent companion. "Come nothing more can be accomplished now you'll have to try making reparation later. She cares for you both perhaps I'm wrong and that in the end will be enough."  
  
  
  
Surprised she lifted her hand to her face tears slid continuously from her eyes as her mind went in circles trying to figure out where she went wrong. What more should I have or could have done or didn't do why couldn't two of the most important people in my life be honest enough with me to tell me the truth. Over the years she had clung to Duo and Quatre the most. Quatre became her sounding board, and mutual support when they were both waiting for their respective loves to get a clue. He Trowa. I Heero. I could count on and trust Quatre with my sanity when I felt my loneliest we both swam the murky waters dealing with the government.   
  
Duo.. Duo became my best friend, my confidant to my most secret yearnings. With Duo as my guard the ache of Heero's long absence had been bearable he reminded me that Relena was just a girl and she needed to stop sometimes and remind herself what all the sacrifices had been for. He basically reminded me to live life to the fullest sometimes as a nagging little voice in my ear others as my friend and co-conspirator. If Quatre was my touchstone and Duo my soul then Heero was literally the heart of Relena Darlian, she shook her head o god now I question everything I knew and believed not only had I lost my friend, but my lover as well. I no longer know what I'm doing suddenly the path I could always see so clearly didn't exist anymore and I didn't have the first clue what I was going to do about it.   
  
Hilde o god a harsh laugh that sounded more like a sob escaped how was I suppose to find the words to comfort her when I couldn't even comfort myself? I'd come across like a raving hypocrite. Swiping at my cheeks again I tried to regain control I was almost there now and Relena Darlian had to be strong confident an island unto herself it was a trick she had used many times and once you've done it enough you almost start to believe it yourself. That was my lot in life no matter how much I resisted everyone needed the knowledge that once more they could draw on me for strength whether I had it to spare or not.  
  
So once more the Relena that was just a girl lost as everyone else retreated. The tears slowed inhaling several times deeply I stopped hitching with every other breath I took. The public persona stepped forward the one that had all the answers, the one who regardless the act turned the other cheek and that always smiled graciously through the pain.   
  
Relena pulled into the entrance of the hotel and stopped while she was waiting for the attendant to park her car she nervously smoothed her hair back. When the door opened she pasted a distant yet gracious smile on her face and no hint of uncertainty or despair showed through her mask. "I need the bags in the trunk taken to Mr. Winner suite please." Then taking one last calming breath she moved into the hotel to try giving someone else the solace that eluded her.  
  
  
February 2001   
  
  
  
  



	4. Chapter 3

Title: So Close To Heaven  
Author: Amber  
Pairings: 1x2xR  
Warnings: I have taken a few liberties with characters personalities. I'm trying something different; this will be a 1x2xR born from the frustration of Relena finds out stories. Frankly I don't like the idea someone has to be a looser.. If you disagree about character representation here then accept my apologies and please select another story with my blessing having said that one needs to also be aware I'm jumping into the deep end and including graphic lemon scenes in this story that may not suit everyone's taste. Please also avoid, if one is not of age for mature love scenes this story is not for you either. Thank you.  
Disclaimer: Gundam belongs to Gundam and any scene or plot similarity to another person's story, movie or anime is purely coincidental.   
  
  
So Close to Heaven  
By Amber  
  
  
Chapter 3  
  
  
Relena leaned back in her chair dawn found her at her office. Once she left the hotel there was little time for anything else but coming straight to work early as it was there were still enough people in there to give her odd looks who could blame them she was still wearing the clothes she wore the day before. By now Heero knew of the locks not that something like that would stop him but it sent the message she wanted conveyed and if anything Heero understood the unspoken quite well. She knew the worst was yet to come she was only delaying the inevitable.   
  
She had spent the rest of the night and early morning listening to Hilde's hopes and dreams. Then the last painful wall fell as she confessed she always knew someone else held Duo's heart. Once she had even kidded him about having a crush on Relena she hadn't seen any evidence of him doing anything about it or anyone else so she had held onto hope. As long he wasn't dating she had believed she was making progress. She was wrong. She pointed out they were partners in business that they both wanted a family why not make it partners for life she urged. Unfortunately she had taken his silence for assent now she knew he just hadn't wanted to hurt her. Hurt Relena pondered now there was an understatement if she had ever heard one..  
  
After trying to comfort Hilde she felt like she had been run over several times with them backing up over her just in case she hadn't gotten the point. She had nothing left to give. The door opened and closed silently. Irritation and impatience surfaced followed by a frission of wariness when she heard the lock turn. Unfortunately for the visitor irritation won. Not for the first time she automatically smothered her initial response years of learning to control knee jerk reactions were not forgotten in a day.   
  
Without turning her voice became clipped and precise. "I asked to not be disturbed until my eight o clock appointment. Please respect my request."  
  
"I can't do that."   
  
She froze carefully sitting the cup and saucer down with a hand that shook she slowly swung the chair around and stood. Eyes of midnight blue silently stared into violet ones before focusing on the rest of the man before her. If her night was hell it looked like she had company still anger ignited like a wildfire and for a moment she gripped the desk as red literally swam before her eyes. "Get out."  
  
"No. I know you're hurt, and angry." Relena's eyes flashed at his before turning away grabbing the cup and saucer she strode across the room to replenish her cup. When she turned he was there blocking her retreat hemming her in.   
  
"Move Mr. Maxwell."   
  
He winced but forged on. "I wanted to tell you." She looked at him contemptuously. And made to move around him. "No." He grabbed her hand taking the splashing coffee he sat it down. "No more please I bleed a little more each time you look at me like I'm scum. Your going to listen to me after that what ever you decide I will try and respect."   
  
She jerked away and shook her head. Eyes narrowing she went for the jugular. "What is the word of a liar worth? Spoke to Hilde this morning?"   
  
Duo flinched, "I deserved that."   
  
Relena smiled savagely. "You deserve to be horse whipped if your not careful I'll volunteer to do it." Shoving past him she took two steps before he clasped her arm halting her again.   
  
"O no princess I meant it I mean to have my say."   
  
She swung around. "You," she whispered rawly. "You YOU! " Her tone grew in volume. "You had ample opportunity to have your say you lying weasel and you chose not to. Let me go." She demanded with icy precision.  
  
"Lena," he pleaded.   
  
Something snapped jerking her arm free she drew her hand back and slapped him putting everything she could behind it. The silence lengthened. Stunned she realized she felt hollow inside standing there detached somehow from it all studying his reaction as if from a distance she felt no satisfaction in causing him pain. Slowly after what seemed like forever he turned back. Her tears were falling steadily now blinking she glared at him fiercely trying to intimidate someone that didn't know the meaning of the word. When he lifted his eyes to meet hers with that empathetic look she literally growled her voice sounding raw.  
  
"You have one minute to leave my office and stay away from me or I'll have my secretary call security and throw you out. Thank your stars I don't bar you from any official assignments regarding me because this is the only mercy you're going to get."   
  
He shook his head silently. "I can't. Don't you think I tried to keep my distance and give you time? I couldn't not knowing how badly I hurt you.."   
  
"Hurt me?" She whispered hoarsely, "I loved you. You were closer to me than my own brother." Frustration flickered followed closely behind was despair and for the first time she saw something besides contrition.   
  
"I'm not your brother. I don't want to be your brother." his tone turned savage with frustration.  
  
Stunned at his cruelty she felt like her breath had been knocked out of her. Shoving him away she kept pushing him back slamming her fists into his chest he finally stumbled and fell, Following him down she grabbed the smooth leather of his jacket in fisted hands and slammed him back and forth against the ground her voice grew in volume as the sobs rose to keep pace with her cursing and swearing. Gradually slowing she sat there across his stomach head bowed whimpering her fingers repeatedly clenching in the jacket. Duo reached up to draw her into a hug when she violently shifted away. Not taking no for an answer he tried again. Caging her within his arms he pulled her down onto his chest.   
  
"I can't think of you as my sister I've tried," he whispered brokenly. Relena stiffened and tried to sit up."No." He abruptly pulled her back against him. "Don't look at me it hurts when you look at me like you hate me. But you wanted the truth so here it is. I love you just as much as Heero does. It started out as something gentle and warm affection, respect coupled with the knowledge that you were so important to Heero something in you gentled him softened him. And I loved you for giving so unconditionally to him.. To me. Hell everyone was welcome to bathe in the warmth of your love. But it changed you both began making a nightly appearance in my dreams. But you couldn't see me that way so I gave you what you expected from me because I couldn't accept the alternative. Nothing at all. Some days it almost drove me crazy you give love and affection unstintingly to everyone and I didn't want to be just anyone not any more." The silence grew and he became increasingly worried. "Lena? Say something please.."  
  
At first it was no louder than a hoarse whisper. "I loved you. You and Heero meant the world to me and you lied to me. You could have told me from the beginning. I trusted you with all that I am my heart and soul. However, neither of you trusted me enough to believe I would understand that I could want your happiness above all else. We could have still been there for each other without the pain. All those years I grieved and you knew where he was. Saw him. Loved him. Your betrayal hurts the most oddly enough because I confided to you what I thought what I felt I let you know me more than anyone else alive with the exception of Heero and you cheated me of the same experience from you."   
  
"Fuck Lena do you think we wanted this? Heero and I started out as two lost souls clinging.."   
  
"I don't want to hear this." She shoved him away.   
  
"You have to."   
  
"No I don't." She snapped.   
  
He followed her up into a sitting position holding her waist gently but firmly. "But then it changed we fell in love we couldn't give each other up but didn't want to let go of you either."   
  
She stared at him stunned. "Me what about Hilde Duo?? You were living with her sleeping with her."   
  
"No Hilde was many things to me Relena but she knew where we stood from the beginning she was my friend. I never had sex with her foreplay sure sex no. I'm sorry she found out that way I wouldn't have wished that on her for the world. She was hurt unnecessarily and I plan on trying to make my peace with her before she goes back to L2. Lena she was going to have to know the truth sooner or later there could be nothing but friendship. I wasn't going to change my mind."   
  
"O god." She shook her head, distantly registering his hand softly stroking her hair.   
  
"I'm so sorry you found out the way you did. I told Heero to tell you the truth long ago. To at least let you decide if you could deal with it. But he was too afraid I guess. I don't think he would ever admit it but he was worried about loosing you as much as I was. With all the progress we've made there are some that still can't shrug off antiquated notions on the subject of lovers."   
  
"Now there's no need." She pushed herself up and moved to step away when his hand grabbed hers. Avoiding his scrutiny she looked away and continued her heart felt like it was in a vice slowly tightening with each word but she forced herself on trying to take strength in that this was almost over. "You and Heero don't have to worry about protecting my feelings or my disgust for you two if that's what this visit is about." She slipped away and walked to the window staring into the distance.   
  
Moving behind her he stood close enough that she felt the heat of his body through her clothes. "Relena he whispered don't give up on us." When she didn't answer he moved closer letting her feel his body against hers. "Lena I love you."   
  
Her eyes slid closed rubbing her temple she tried to ease the pounding in her head that seemed to be keeping rhythm with her heart. "One big happy family hmm you, me, Heero?" She shook her head. "It will never work."   
  
"Why?" he argued.  
  
"I don't even know where to even begin with what you're wanting from me and that's just the physical. Most importantly I'm a politician. Remember?"  
  
His eyes narrowed, "that's a cop out Quatre isn't exactly in the stereotypical idea of a traditional relationship and he's in the public eye. Besides if you wanted it bad enough there is always a way. I've seen you accomplish the impossible. Remember?   
  
She turned meeting his eyes. "You mean lie? Like you and Heero lied to me."  
  
They both jumped as the knock sounded at the door. "Ms. Darlian.. The knock came again. "Are you alright? Ms. Darlian?" The knob turned repeatedly as the knocking grew frantic.  
  
"It wasn't my secret to tell."   
  
"Lie," she whispered  
  
He felt desperate as if she had eluded them somehow he tried another tact Duo cupped her cheek tenderly. "Is it so easy to throw us away?"   
  
Her eyes flashed angrily a moment before turning sad. "I'm not throwing you or anyone else away. You and Heero hurt me and I need to understand how I feel about that. I need to understand how we failed one another."   
  
Relena moved around him and unlocked the door letting her secretary in. "Minister Darlian I'm so sorry I didn't realize."   
  
She shook her head, "it's all right Kathy we've concluded our meeting Col Maxwell was just leaving." Her eyes shifted curiously back and forth before bowing and closing the door.   
  
He stood there defiantly matching her look for look eyes flashing rebelliously objectively she had to admit he looked sexy standing there with his daring me to push him to far look. It was obvious he was unsatisfied with the vagueness of her answers and wanted to stay until he heard some answers he did like. But she had no intention of being pushed into anything not as confused and hurt as she felt.   
  
"Quatre has invited us for lunch before he heads out would you like to come?"  
  
Before he could finish she was already shaking her head. "I got that same invitation and had to refuse I can't today Duo send Quatre and Trowa my love."  
  
"Relena..."   
  
The distinct tone of the intercom interrupted whatever he was about to say as Relena pushed the button in acknowledgement. 'Minister your eight o clock is here.'  
  
"Shit."   
  
Relena looked up and frowned at his reaction. "Thank you Kathy send him in."  
  
Reluctantly conceding defeat he slowly left the room passing her visitor on the way out the composed tone of welcome was the last thing he heard before the door closed with a final click. "Damn it."  
  
Kathy looked up with a smile. "What was that Colonel?"   
  
"Nothing" Muttering to himself he stalked abruptly away, she blinked at his mood swing as he slammed out of her office. It's a shame all the cute ones are crazy. The phone's persistent beep enabled her to shrug off his odd behavior.   
  
"Kathy see if Colonel Chang is available for my guard detail the next few days." She frowned intently, "Chang mam?"   
  
"Yes I have it on good authority Col. Yuy has a previous commitment and we don't want to impose."  
  
"I'll see to it right away."   
  
"Thank you." Kathy sighed disconnecting apparently whatever it is-is catching because now the Minister was acting odd.   
  
* * *   
  
Duo wound his way through the restaurant taking in the subdued elegance that screamed big money and old family blood lines leave it to Quatre to pick the one where all he could afford if it had been him paying was a glass of water.   
  
"Hey Quatre .."   
  
Duo nodded "Trowa." He smirked "Wu."   
  
"Duo." Quatre smiled gently, "everything ok?" Duo shrugged before collapsing into the chair.   
  
"I stopped in and talked to Hilde she'll be all right eventually it wasn't like it was a surprise she suspected my interest was elsewhere."   
  
Quatre looked up from the menu. "Relena couldn't come?" He probed delicately. Duo slumped deeper into the chair.   
  
"She said she had other plans."   
  
"Perhaps she did," he offered consolingly.   
  
Trowa shook his head. "You brought this on yourselves Relena dislikes lies."   
  
"Hey there's a news flash. He sulked. "It wasn't my call ream Heero about that one." Trowa's eyebrow rose speaking eloquently.   
  
"If you had both done it in the beginning you wouldn't be trying so hard to convince yourself and now us."   
  
"Enough already Relena already bounced my head against the floor at least a dozen times this morning." Wufei looked up and smirked. "Really this promises to be an interesting week then I look forward to it."   
  
Duo frowned "What's that suppose to mean? "   
  
Stunned Quatre stared, "you were kidding about the floor part weren't you?"   
  
"Hmm o er actually he shook his head ruefully no she's got quite a temper. I recommend you avoid pissing off jousan."   
  
Duo eye Wufei suspiciously."Hey Wu you know something we don't?" Wufei shrugged indifferently his attention remained focused on the menu.   
  
"And on that note WuWu thank you for sharing." Wufei finally looked up meeting Duo's glare impassively.   
  
"I know enough to not take advice on relationship's or women from Yuy which is more than you apparently do."  
  
"Duo I know you're worried and frustrated but taking it out on Wufei won't help." Quatre chided.  
  
Duo sighed restlessly. "Does anyone know where Heero is? He usually isn't late." Quatre looked up inquiringly before he smiled in delight. "Here he is now."  
  
Heero glided effortlessly through the through the restaurant his usual enigmatic face marred by a scowl. "Heero I'm glad you could join us."   
  
Nodding he gently stroked a hand down the back of Duo's braid before he jerked a chair out and seated himself. Duo leaned close and touched his arm. "What's wrong?"  
  
"I went to the house this morning to wait for Relena none of the keys work." He scowled, "she changed the locks."   
  
Duo sighed. "What did you expect Heero she was bound to be hurt finding out the way she did. I talked to her this morning." He rubbed the back of his head and grimaced. "I think she listened. Just talk to her tomorrow the trick is to make sure she's a captive audience. Since she's taking the Senate's budget proposals to L4 you have her on a shuttle with no where to escape that's your chance."   
  
He smirked, "good plan but there's a problem. I've been told since I needed time for a previous engagement I now have the next two days open I didn't previously have to take care of my business."  
  
"O man this is not good not good at all. What now?"  
  
Heero's eyes narrowed, "eventually she has to come home when she does we're going to have that talk you wanted us to have one way or the other."  
  
"If that fails then perhaps I can be of assistance since Sally and I were requested to replace Yuy while he.. handles his commitments."   
  
"Ah shit." Duo dropped his head in the palm of his hand. "They'll kill each other."   
  
"Don't be ridiculous Maxwell." Wufei frowned dropping his teasing attitude. "Relena's been hurt enough."  
  
Heero lifted his eyebrow inquiringly. "Relena?" Wufei shrugged in response. "I admire strength and perseverance she's proven to have both."  
  
"Take care of her for me."   
  
Wufei met Heero's scrutiny calmly then inclined his head. "Of course."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Chapter 4

Title: So Close To Heaven  
Author: Amber  
Pairings: 1x2xR  
Warnings: I have taken a few liberties with characters personalities. I'm trying something different; this will be a 1x2xR born from the frustration of Relena finds out stories. Frankly I don't like the idea someone has to be a looser.. If you disagree about character representation here then accept my apologies and please select another story with my blessing having said that one needs to also be aware I'm jumping into the deep end and including graphic lemon scenes in this story that may not suit everyone's taste. Please also avoid, if one is not of age for mature love scenes this story is not for you either. Thank you.  
Disclaimer: Gundam belongs to Gundam and any scene or plot similarity to another person's story, movie or anime is purely coincidental.   
  
  
So Close to Heaven  
By: Amber  
  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Mellow music played softly from the car's speakers selected specifically to soothe over the rock music she normally gravitated toward. Except this night no peace of mind was to be found, no solutions imminent. She did find an irony in her choice of haunt her life began on the beach and now she had chosen it to run to in her time of sorrow. Nothing but more confusion and the on going hurt that so far hadn't relented.   
  
You know I thought if I could remove the source of my temptation giving me the objectivity I desperately need once more good ole Relena would dreg up that crystal clarity, that intuitive thinking that everyone is always toting as my strength allowing me to make some hard choices reevaluate my perceptions. Guess the joke is on me. I couldn't tell anyone what the rest of the day was about much less what had happened yesterday. Or lord save me what tomorrow would even bring.   
  
The slight roar of the waves pounding the beach could be heard from the interior of the car as the sea rushed into caress her shores. But as much as it appealed to walk the beach she knew if she did one way or another someone would find out and she would never hear the end. Besides she wasn't quite ready to die yet and the car did offer a bit more safety than an open stretch of beach. Her head fell back against the seat this was getting her nowhere she should go home. But she loath to move and if the truth were told there was less chance of running into Heero if she didn't.   
  
God when had she become so cowardly? Maybe it was arrogance or folly or both to assume Heero even wanted to talk with her again. Eyes grew weighted as the soothing strains of music coupled with the steady rhythm of the waves rushing to shore carried her to that ethereal place somewhere between a light sleep and the land of dreams. Her body unable to fight the stress and the long hours deprived of rest finally surrendered to the temporary escape sleep offered and for a brief time all the doubts fears and sadness was put on hold.  
  
* * * *   
  
Heero leaned against the door jam watching her shrug into the suit blazer and adjust it. For all intent purposes no one looking at her would suspect her inner turmoil. But he wasn't just anyone he had watched her place last night when she hadn't come home he knew then his failure to factor in the unpredictability of her emotions was a serious strategic error.  
  
Finally in the wee hours of the morning he had surrendered to the growing fear and entered the house to make sure she hadn't by some strange twist snuck past him. Moving through the silent house he stood in the shadowed light of her room staring at their bed with a sick dread. Heero clutched her pillow tightly like a talisman against his darkening thoughts. Impulsively he lifted it to his face and inhaled the sweet scent of wildflowers and something uniquely Relena it wrapped around his senses soothing and comforting him somewhat before the dull edge of the pain and the frustration he brought her from his miscalculation intensified. As the hour grew later his determination sharpened and honed to the single-minded purpose of fixing this no matter what.   
  
Heero tiredly pinched the bridge of his nose idly noticing a build up of pressure behind his eyes as his thoughts had taken a darker and darker slant. She wasn't coming home not if she could avoid it that more than anything spoke volumes on just how much he had hurt her. 'Relena.'  
  
If he had a shred of decency he would just walk away and leave her but he couldn't which was why he was in this mess in the first place. Once the training stopped, once the wars stopped, all there was left for him to do was live. But he hadn't been prepared for that prepped for killing, lying, betraying he had been taught to use his mind, body and soul if necessary to complete the mission regardless the cost. But no one had thought to prepare him for peace for living a life after the death and destruction.   
  
What did he know about the unspoken rules that seemed to absorb from birth to adulthood about love, lovers, and relationships? Was he asking for the world to love.. to need two people equally to exist? And he knew deep down that wasn't an exaggeration the Heero before Duo and Relena could have walked away. Had his life went on without ever meeting them then that person could have used bodies for the gratification without the pain and uncertainty that accompanied this illusive mystery called love. But that boy was gone and as hard as things were he would only change one thing.   
  
Duo had been right he screwed up he should have talked to Relena long ago but he had attributed his fears and uncertainties about her not understanding onto her without giving her a chance to decide for herself. That had to change he had to change. Very well if that was what had to happen to get her back then that's what he would do they would all move forward but together this time.  
  
Heero straightened the time for introspection was over it was time to act. Moving silently into her office he watched her preparations for the day oblivious to his scrutiny. He could almost pity her. Almost. Relena never had a clue what she was letting herself in for when she chose to get involved with him. He had told her more than once she needed to let him go he was no good for her. She chose to ignore him escape for her was no longer an option not from the moment she pledged her heart and body to him.   
  
Growing up as he did once his life became his own again he discovered a hunger and a need to hold tight to what he considered his. And she was his he failed her but not again he would make things right he would find a way to make a life with her and Duo this time. She picked up a brush and started running it through her hair closing the door he locked it then crossing his arms he leaned back against it patiently waiting for her to acknowledge his presence he had a mission now one of the most important ones of his life and he didn't intend to fail.   
  
The soft click was the first thing that filtered into her thoughts and a strange sense of déjà vu surfaced immediately followed by that shiver that always preceded the awareness that Heero was near. Mentally she cringed as that little voice that had been poking at her most of the night to be sensible sarcastically chanted I told you so's.   
  
Calmly setting the brush down she concentrated on keeping her hands steady as she discarded her usual chignon in favor for the simplicity and expediency of a simple French braid. The only problem was the closer she got to the bottom the more contrary her subconscious became and started dragging the process out. The soft sigh reached her even where she was and she knew she couldn't procrastinate any longer.   
  
"I know you're aware I'm here stop pretending. You've been avoiding me.... Do you hate me so much now?" Relena paused in the middle of securing the end of her hair, head bent she murmured in a raspy whisper.   
  
"I don't hate you or .. Duo."   
  
"Then why wont you face me?"   
  
Relena sighed she resumed her movements then slid her hair over her shoulder to fall in a thick rope to her butt. Drawing a calming breath she turned. Her eyes slowly took in the stance so familiar, the form so beloved, the eyes that rocked her world with each glance since she first found him so many years ago on that beach. She allowed herself one quick peek at the flash of diamond thru his unruly hair before she lowered her lashes shielding her thoughts from his searching gaze.   
  
Heero frowned. At first he had been reassured with what he had glimpsed in her eyes. Relena's eyes were the windows to her soul but for the first time she hid from him. He had seen her over the years use various methods to insure her privacy but never had she tried to keep him at bay. The analytical side that never went away started cataloging and analyzing the various emotions he was experiencing and how to proceed when he was finished he considered how this occurrence made him feel he conceded the word that fit was. Hurt.   
  
It hurt but it wasn't without a certain irony. He had spent years hiding first himself then his emotions from her now that he was ready to literally and figuratively stand his ground she was the one running. Straightening up off of the door he stalked across the room until he was standing close enough to touch her. He studied her face intently, what he was searching for she wasn't sure. His hand slowly lifted to cup her cheek eyes lids fluttered nervously then slid all the way closed anticipating his touch. Relena missed the flash of satisfaction that flickered across his face followed by uncertainty when she forced her eyes open and casually moved away she took her place behind her desk trying to give herself a much-needed psychological boost.   
  
His eyes narrowed. "We need to talk," he said abruptly.   
  
She lifted her hand to stop him. "I think I know what you're going to say and its not necessary Heero we made no promises to one another. I can't deny I'm not hurt but first and for most I've always wanted your happiness above all else and if that is best accomplished with Duo then there is nothing left to say but be happy."   
  
He blinked startled. "What are you talking about?"   
  
"Er you saying goodbye?"   
  
His face closed revealing nothing. "Are you telling me you don't want to see me anymore?"   
  
Relena's eyes widened, "of course not."   
  
Puzzled he eyed her cautiously. "I thought Duo said he talked to you?"   
  
"He apologized," she hedged. Heero sighed this wasn't getting them anywhere he moved toward the desk and Relena straightened stepping back she crossed her arms. Observing her body language he paused.   
  
"Stop running from me. I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth." He watched her standing there all closed off and was reminded how out of his league he was at opening up.   
  
"Relena." He moved slowly around the desk only to have her go around the other side.   
  
"Would you like some coffee Heero?"   
  
"Don't."   
  
She flinched, swinging around. "Don't what?" She said exasperated.   
  
"Don't do this you've been avoiding me since I walked through the door. Are you afraid of me he blurted." She looked momentarily nonpulsed. "Don't be ridiculous."  
  
"Then why are you so distant?"   
  
"I just don't have allot of time I have the.."   
  
"I know I was suppose to be on the security detail." He interjected.   
  
She grew silent. "Yes well.."  
  
"You had me removed. Why?"  
  
Her head snapped up. "O I don't know Heero I walked in on my lover screwing someone I thought was my best friend and neither one of you thought I should know. Maybe I thought we all needed some time apart to think objectively."   
  
"Is that what you were doing last night thinking?"   
  
She drew a calming breath. "I tried to."   
  
"I waited for you."  
  
Her eyes narrowed. "I changed the locks."   
  
He shrugged, "I got in." She spun away from him of course he did she made a disgusted noise.   
  
"I was angry, I was hurt damn it Heero you hurt me, he hurt me. What's worse is he saw you all that time without telling me all the while all it would have took was a word a gesture to ease my mind. Did he though? Did you? Hell No. Then he's going to bully his way in here insisting." She waved her hands erratically as she searched for words.. "I don't think so.."  
  
"Insisting." He prompted softly as he silently moved closer.   
  
She let out a long breath."That he was attracted to me as well."   
  
"He is." His voice sounded allot closer than she anticipated startled she swung around and found herself in his arms. She stiffened. "Easy. I suspect he has been since that first time on the dock so many years ago."  
  
She met the gentleness of his gaze with a troubled one.. "Doesn't that bother you?"   
  
His mouth quirked slightly. "Only if you didn't love me."  
  
"Heero what do you want from me?"  
  
"You."  
  
A smile lit her face but it gave him no comfort it held such regret that his anxiety increased another level and with it his grip on her waist tightened imperceptibly. "You had me Heero apparently it wasn't enough."   
  
He shook his head, "you know things are rarely black and white. I warned you being in my life was risky you made your choice. The time to run was long ago."  
  
"You have me in your life you don't stop loving that easy or quickly just because someone hurts you."  
  
"Relena please.." She lifted her hand and brushed his bangs back.   
  
"Poor Heero so lost and confused I can't help you. I'm just as lost and confused as you are."  
  
"What do you want me to do? Tell me what you want?" He whispered.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"I won't let you leave me," his eyes glittered with pain and determination. "Your so deep in here." His fist lifted and he laid it over his heart. "I didn't understand how much until I realized I could loose you. We can't go back and you already know I'm not perfect can't we start over from there?" The subtle beep of the vid phone activating caused her to jump visibly pulling herself together she reluctantly pulled away. Relena walked to her desk.   
"Darlian."  
  
"Minister your car is here and Col Chang has just arrived."   
  
"Thank you Kathy. Tell the driver I'll be right there. Ask Col. Chang to please wait a moment more and offer him some refreshment while I finish up in here."   
  
She clasped her hands tightly before turning to stare pensively at Heero. "I don't know. I've loved you for so long that won't change. But I don't know what to do. I've grown to love Duo in my own way but he wants to test that and see what if any boundaries exist with it. What if we try this and instead of making us stronger it tears us apart? What if and I do mean If we get past the hurt to try this and it makes our lives so hard we loose what good we do have? And have you thought about what others will say?"  
  
  
She lifted her hand to stop the words she intuitively sensed were coming. "Wait. Hear me out. You were uncomfortable with the world knowing about you and I. Think about how we'll be hounded if they learn the Foreign Minister is involved in a ménage a trois . And even if we try to keep our personal lives private are you willing to take the chance? Knowing the risk of exposure is always there? Is Duo?"   
  
She bent down pulling her briefcase out. "All those questions have been circling around buzzing like angry little bees since Duo dropped his little surprise on me. But more importantly if I hadn't walked in on you that night would you have ever told me Heero? Or would things have gone on as they were indefinitely? You see you had him all those years and you obviously love him I guess I can't see why you need me you managed quite well it seems without me. Would you have ever trusted me enough to let me in? Would Duo have finally told Hilde? He held my secrets, my trust, you my heart, but I didn't have his or yours. You see?"   
  
She walked to the door staring back at him wanly. "I have to ask myself after appearing to endure the relative comfortableness of silence all this time why the sudden overwhelming hunger for the three of us in a relationship with each other?" Relena glanced away before she began speaking again in a hesitant tone. "I stood there in the doorway watching you and Duo for some time. Shall I tell you what I saw Heero?"   
  
"The same thing you would see when I'm with you." he said fiercely. "Are you asking me to choose?" He asked flatly.  
  
Her mouth kicked up slightly at the corners. "Do you believe I would ask?" She countered curiously.  
  
  
The knock on the door when it came while not unexpected was not welcome. Heero glanced away from her long enough to glare at the intrusion. "Minister your transportation is waiting if we want to keep to the schedule we need to be leaving."   
  
Wufei's voiced carried through the door as she continued to hold his gaze solemnly. "It's time for me to go."   
  
He started forward as if to protest but stopped crossing his arms his face became unreadable. His tone was barely audible but it was enough for her to hear it. "I don't believe you would." She blinked confused then her face softened. The pinched look around her eyes disappeared as she acknowledged his words.   
  
"Goodbye, Heero." She turned to unlock the door.   
  
"Relena.. believe in me one more time." His eyes entreated her. His voice once more working its spell on her senses. She closed her eyes trying to block out the temptation and it was tempting. How many times had she secretly thought if she could take part of Heero and Duo and combine them she would have the kind of man every woman dreamt of? And honesty compelled her to admit two handsome men both claiming to love her was flattering. If she allowed herself to believe.   
  
"I don't know." she whispered. "Would you have ever told me about you and Duo?"   
  
He stared at her silently with eyes that held so many conflicting emotions. Relena smiled wistfully. "And that's why I'm stuck unable to go forward impossible to turn back. Some would say an insignificant thing in light of what I would gain believe me I don't like this limbo any more than you." Relena opened the door nodding at Wufei as he appeared in the opening she glanced back for a moment before walking away.  
  
Wufei and Heero stared measuring each other silently. "Bring her back safely." Wufei inclined his head and turned away.  
  
* * * *  
  
Heero let himself into the apartment and listlessly dropped his keys on the counter. A small smile lightened his brooding features as he followed the off key singing into the bathroom. Nudging the door open he squinted through the steam filled room to the figure beyond. Moving inside he started shrugging out of his clothes as he made his way across the floor to the shower. Opening the door he slipped inside.   
  
"Shit Heero. You took a year off my life. Where you been? Never mind." Duo cupped Heero's face trailing kisses along the path the water droplets took until he reached his mouth. He flicked his tongue over his lips before he pulled back and smiled into Heero's eyes. "I missed you last night."  
  
Duo slid his hand down and cupped Heero's erection stroking and squeezing it in a slow lazy rhythm. "Nice very nice. I think you missed me to." Duo bent licking a bead of water at the hollow of his neck before gently mouthing the skin. He smiled when Heero moaned and tilted his head to allow him better access. Bemused he blinked then forced himself to gaze into Duo's grinning countenance. He had withdrawn his hands from Heero's crotch but apparently he wasn't done yet because he felt his teeth nip his ear lobe.   
  
Pulling away Duo grabbed the soap working it between his palms. "Duo.."  
  
"Shh patience." He pushed Heero back against the wall of the shower. Then slid his lathered hands across his shoulders and chest before lightly sliding them up both sides of Heero's throat.   
  
Gliding upwards Duo used his thumbs against Hero's jaw to gently tilt his face up. Softly Duo brushed his lips across Heero's flicking his tongue across his top lip he drew back enough to catch the bottom between his teeth before letting go. Heero moaned hoarsely. "Don't tease."  
  
Duo's mouth curved in a smile. "Who's teasing? Have I told you I like the earring? Sexy, very sexy. Lena's got good taste." He husked.   
  
Duo covered Heero's mouth languidly savoring the taste before sliding his tongue within. Leaning against Heero he ground his cock against him in a steady circular motion. The steamy warmth of his body was slippery and wet beneath his hand and he shivered at the erotic sensation of skin on skin. He writhed helplessly trying to press closer to the highly defined torso.  
  
Duo pulled back taking in the hazy pleasure tightening Heero's normally impassive face while increasing the pace of his hips against his. "You like?"   
  
Heero blinked hazily before sinking a trembling hand deep into Duo's hair and fisting it. "You talk to much." Jerking him forward, he slammed his mouth down on top of Duo's. His warm mouth repeatedly kissed, nibbled, and sucked, tongues twining together pouring into it all his hunger and need.   
  
Drawing back breathless Duo laughed. Grabbing Heero's shoulders he spun him pressing his front against the cool tile. "Your impatient tonight aren't you?"  
  
Pressing his rigid length against Heero. Duo brushed soapy hands across his shoulders then glided down the middle of his back before rising once more to firmly kneed his shoulders. His hand inched downward brushing a soapy finger along the crack of his rear then thrust his knee between Heero's legs. "Is this what you want hmm?"  
  
Duo slipped his finger deeper between his legs and lightly rubbed it against the twin sacs. "Duo." He groaned. "Enough.."   
  
Duo leaned in placing his lips against his ear. Heero shivered. The warm breath sent quivers down his body as his already overloaded system tried to hang on a little bit longer. "You didn't answer me.. all you have to do is tell me what you want."   
  
He withdrew the finger languorously drawing teasing circles on his balls and slid it tauntingly against his opening as Heero pushed back pleadingly against his finger. "Ah uh that's cheating."  
  
Duo slid in a bit slightly working it Heero whimpered. "You.." Duo laughed huskily. He pushed in deeper then pulled all the way out. Heero protested reaching back he grabbed Duo's rear. Letting his head fall back against Duo shoulder his hands tensely massaged Duo's cheeks spreading them wider and wider with each motion of his hands.   
  
"Hmm much better but that was a who Heero. I want to know what you want?"  
  
Duo slid the finger slowly back in and continued to skillfully work his body never increasing his strokes yet keeping them shallow and steady barely grazing the prostate. Heero's moans were constant now as Duo leaned his forehead against Heero's back.   
  
"You better hurry and decide how you want me to finish." He slid another finger in increasing the stroke and changing the angle.   
  
Shaking Heero rocked back harder with his thrusts, trying to drive Duo deeper. "End it I want you. hard .. fast.. Stop the ache.."  
  
"About time." Slowly withdrawing his fingers Heero whimpered. "Alright alright." Sliding his hands down Heero's arms until he reached his hands he laced their fingers together guiding upward to the edge glass partition to the shower. Placing Heero's hands there with the unspoken understanding to keep them there. He slowly trailed his hands down the center of Heero's back.   
  
Cupping his hands Duo firmly grasped his cock sliding it through soapy hands his head fell back and a mewling cry escaped. It felt so good. He was so close one stroke more. o god yes just one more he whimpered. Another I can get in another. Yessss almost there.. No... Clenching his cheeks Duo bit his lip not yet.   
  
Pulling back from the edged he massaged Heero's rear gradually spreading it wider and wider. He brushed against him teasingly once more before he slowly pushing into his body finally giving Heero and himself what they both wanted. Sliding his hands up over Heero's he interlocked them together and buried himself to the hilt in Heero's body. Duo hung there shaking he had almost waited to late this time. Closing his eyes he savored the tightness. the reflexive clenching of his anus in anticipation of ecstasy. Leaning in close to Heero's ear he whispered.   
  
"Is that what you wanted?" He laughed as Heero mumbled something under his breath.   
  
Releasing his fingers Duo tightly gripped Heero's waist then wrapped a soapy hand around Heero's erection slowly pulling out almost all the way he thrust back in keeping a slow steady rhythm. For a while it eased the ache somewhat until the edge became unbearable their whimpers now were in concert and bordering on just short of agony. The warm water pounded their already sensitive skin and coupled with the cool slick feel of flesh it was too much Duo could taste his release right there on the back of his throat.  
  
Increasing the pace another notch Duo slammed into Heero harder and harder now. it seemed a race to see who came first as Heero pushed back impaling himself over and over driving Duo deeper into his body. Duo felt his ejaculation start. Though fragmented he became frantic in his desire for completion. Tiny pinpricks of light dotted his vision. Letting his lids flutter and close a hoarse moan escaped through gritted teeth his hips continued to pump helplessly a slave to his orgasm. When he felt Heero jerk convulsively against him and join him.   
  
Heero growled as his body shuddered for what seemed like an endlessly period then weep sticky seed down Duo's arm and hand. Duo still rocked languorously against his lover, comforted by the continued connection. Leaning his head against Heero he let the warm water sooth his tired body before found the energy to lift up and drop a kiss on Heero's shoulder.   
  
Duo pulled him back against his chest and wrapped his arms around him. " Remind me to thank the water processing facility for the unfailing hot water.." Heero choked back a laugh.   
  
* * * *  
  
The light from the bathroom lit the room enough to define the objects within yet dark enough to ease and aid those baring their soul. Even if the person with them was a part of that soul admitting hopes and fears to yourself was one thing to another continued to remain hard to do. The body stretched out along his gently slid fingers through the damp tresses. There was almost a hypnotic quality to it that soothed as much as it stirred. Duo wanted nothing more than to lay here and savor the easy boneless feeling. But he knew neither one of them would really rest until they addressed what was on both of their minds.   
  
"Did you see her?" The fingers paused then resumed their repeated path.   
  
"Yes," he whispered.   
  
"Is she still angry?" The chest beneath him shifted as Heero drew in a deep breath. He considered his answer carefully.   
  
"No not angry."  
  
"You want to talk about it?" Duo moved up crossing his arms over Heero's chest he leaned down and rested his chin on his hands as he studied him thoughtfully. Heero's mouth quirked sadly. "I don't think it will do any good."   
  
"Then you have nothing to loose." Duo said solemnly.   
  
"True my silence has already destroyed something precious." he said broodingly.   
  
Duo shrugged. "I don't believe that."  
  
"No?" Heero cut him a sharp look.   
  
"No."   
  
Heero stared into the shadows his expression distant. "She doesn't believe us Duo."  
  
He frowned. "What do you mean?"  
  
"She doesn't believe in me anymore.. Even in the darkest times I could look into her eyes and see an unswerving belief in something beautiful.. within me."  
  
Duo smiled teasingly, trying to lighten his mood. "I've always thought so."  
  
"Not anymore."   
  
Duo frowned. "Heero, I don't.."  
  
"I've always felt beautiful in her eyes. Inside especially where it shows the least. She was the first to see me at my worst, see past all the walls the silence. The death and destruction and still love me for me."  
  
"She still does Heero right now she's hurt and angry but she has one of the most forgiving souls. I swear to god she scares me at times with just how forgiving she is. But I know how you feel though. When she looked at me yesterday her eyes so heartbroken I bled inside for each tear she cried."  
  
"She'll forgive us but will she come back to us?" Heero murmured with a far off look. "She thinks we're lying or we pity her. She refuses to believe after keeping you and I secret for so long that we now desperately want her love. She called it a Ménage a trois. Nothing I said or tried worked she was so distant."  
  
Duo sighed leaning down he kissed Heero's chest where his heart lay then placed his ear against the area to listen to it's reassuring beat. "What else?"  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"What are you not you telling me?"  
  
"She asked me if she hadn't caught me would I ever have told her the truth."  
  
"What did you say?" he said softly.   
  
"Nothing. I failed and because I didn't find the words she can't believe we're being truthful now."  
  
"Then we'll tell her over and over again as many times as she needs to hear it until she believes us. And if that doesn't work we'll show her. Whatever it takes we'll do it."   



	6. Chapter 5

Title: So Close To Heaven  
Author: Amber  
Pairings: 1x2xR  
Warnings: I have taken a few liberties with characters personalities. I'm trying something different; this will be a 1x2xR born from the frustration of Relena finds out stories. Frankly I don't like the idea someone has to be a looser.. If you disagree about character representation here then accept my apologies and please select another story with my blessing having said that one needs to also be aware I'm jumping into the deep end and including graphic lemon scenes in this story that may not suit everyone's taste. Please also avoid, if one is not of age for mature love scenes this story is not for you either. Thank you.  
Disclaimer: Gundam belongs to Gundam and any scene or plot similarity to another person's story, movie or anime is purely coincidental.   
  
  
So Close to Heaven   
By: Amber  
  
  
Chapter 5  
  
  
"Parting is such sweet sorrow"   
  
An interesting phrase don't you think? Staring out the window as the shuttle fought to break free of earth's loving hold I realize the person that wrote those words was wise beyond imagining. I couldn't help feeling the bittersweet pain of loss as I left Heero. The gut wrenching uncertainty of things still unsettled gnawed at my resolve and for once I had no sympathetic shoulder. I left Duo behind as well. I remember concentrating on the sky as the setting sun turned the heavens several shades of gold. Trying so hard not to examine to closely why those eyes of blue that stared at me with such yearning and hunger shifted into violet. I deliberately closed my own against the image trying to shut it out. The last thought that flitted through my mind as I willed myself to sleep was. Now even my subconscious is working against me or why would I suddenly notice Duo's hungry eyes directed at me and be curiously fascinated by it since I've seen that look every time Heero held me in his arms and claimed me for his own.  
  
* * * * *   
  
"Remind me again." Sally said from the side of her mouth. "Why we stayed over for this?" Wufei's impassive gaze slid around the room before settling back on the woman who for he last few days had been moving non stop since she arrived. Stuffing enough activities, meetings, and public appearances into her day for four people and from the looks of it her nights were just as hectic.   
  
"You heard the same spiel I did. To show a sincerity in the further commitment for continued peace between the colonies and earth." A frown flickered as Sally turned.   
  
"Tell me your not buying that? She had meetings on earth that had been scheduled weeks in advance she just cancelled them without a second thought." A couple glanced warily at her as they passed. Sally plastered a fake smile on her face until they moved on.   
  
The corner of his mouth quirked. "It doesn't matter whether I buy it as you put it. My part is to keep her alive not ponder what is going on inside her mind. If you're worried you talk to her."  
  
Sally shifted her own gaze constantly seeking potential threats before returning to rest worriedly on the young woman across the room. Surrounded by men and women alike she gave every appearance of having a wonderful time. Unless you looked deeper and saw the almost frantic determination in her eyes and the too brittle smile gracing her lips.   
  
Casually tucking a strand of hair back into the bun she had subjected her hair to for tonight's activities she shifted restlessly. "I tried." She murmured. "She told me it wasn't anything a quart of Triple Fudge Lover's Delight wouldn't fix."   
  
  
Wufei smirked. "But you don't believe that?"   
  
"Normally yes because Relena doesn't lie she's not the type. Avoid? Yes. Tell you point blank it's not open for discussion? Absolutely. Lie? No. She doesn't do it well so I think she simply chooses not to do it at all. But add Heero's sudden need to be elsewhere and I know something is up."   
  
"Yuy seems to always need to be off and about somewhere." he shrugged dismissingly. "But assuming you're correct you're perceptive enough to know that you have to let her come to you. You made the offer it's obvious she likes and respects you. Even trusts you enough to let you see that there is something wrong to begin with but right now she isn't ready for anything more."   
  
Sally's mouth curved into a rueful smile. "Your right I know. It's just so frustrating." Wufei nodded. "You know more than your saying." She gave him a calculating stare. "Don't you?"   
  
His eyebrow arched. "I know what I need to."   
  
"O really?" He inclined his head.   
  
"Yes for example I know a way to channel your frustration." He bowed. "May I have this dance?"   
  
She smiled, "what about Relena?" He shrugged guiding her out among the swirling masses. "You can maintain surveillance from the dance floor just as well as you can from here." He glanced at Relena and frowned. "Besides it looks like those leeches have her locked in until someone chooses to rescue her or she decides to save herself. Until then we make the best of a tiresome lot."  
  
"I think I think we should keep a close eye on her something doesn't feel right." She eyed him daring him to refuse instead he nodded thoughtfully. "Call Quatre he is closer to her than his own sisters like wise Peacecraft with her brother. Perhaps he will be a viable alternative if she won't confide in you."   
  
Sally blinked surprised. "Wufei when did you get so smart?" He smirked. "I've always been so but it speaks favorably of you that you have finally noticed."   
  
* * * * *   
  
Wufei knocked. When he received no response he pulled his weapon as a precaution. Unlocking the door he quietly pushed it open with the muzzle of the gun. Eyes alert they quickly took in the room at a glance before discerning she was not within. Moving silently into the room he shut the door locking it back before he moved through the sitting room into the bedroom. Shaking his head at the empty bed he moved toward the balcony doors.   
  
"You are being reckless. Are you trying to get yourself shot?"   
  
Wufei smiled she didn't even flinch. I suppose when you've been around Yuy, as much as she is not allot has the power to rattle you. Holstering his gun Wufei joined her at the rail giving her profile a cursory glance before turning to gaze out across the colony. "Sally is worried."   
  
Relena sighed, "I know." When she didn't say anymore he sighed himself.   
  
"Here." He said gruffly. Puzzled Relena turned then smiled as she took the ice cream and spoon. "Your cure I believe. Not as big as you wanted but one must accept some compromise."   
  
She held the ice cream container shifting it back and forth with a bemused expression on her face. "Thank you". She looked a trifle hesitant. "Would you?" She gestured toward the chairs placed around the balcony.   
  
"This is unwise you are not only an easy target but you should be inside asleep." He moved to the chair and stiffly sat. "Well I suppose at least I can minimize any damage if I'm here. Sit eat before it melts you don't know what I went through even finding it."   
  
She moved to the chair and sat staring in the distance as she ate. "It's good Thank you." Relena lifted a spoon. "Would you like a bite?" He smiled at her as if she was a child and shook his head.   
  
"No it's all yours enjoy."   
  
She paused her spoon half way to her mouth. Shifting uncomfortably he frowned. "What?" She shrugged trying to put him at ease. "You should do that more often your quite handsome when you smile."   
  
He eyed her suspiciously before gradually relaxing his guard. "I have had little in my life to smile about." Relena's gaze dropped to study the contents of the carton while she ate.   
  
"I'm the exact opposite I suppose until the wars I had a privileged childhood."   
  
"Relena why do you linger here? It's obvious you want to be back on earth." Her head jerked up she studied his profile.   
  
"Ahh Wufei straight to the heart of the matter. Because I'm a coward. Because for the first time I have no idea what is the right thing to do. I bet you find that pathetic?" She asked mournfully.   
  
"I have learned life is seldom that simplistic. I make no judgments."   
  
"Do you have someone you love Wufei?" He scowled. "I'm sorry that was rude."   
  
He shook his head after a moment and shrugged. "I have someone I care about."   
  
"Sally?"   
  
"Hn but I have things in my past that I need to deal with before I go to anyone." She sat the empty container down and drew her knees up to rest her chin on them. "I'm sorry," she murmured. He stiffened defensively.   
  
"Don't you ever get lonely and want to go to her anyway?" She shifted laying her cheek on her knee so she could see his face. He stared into her eyes weighing, judging looking for any signs of pity before giving her an enigmatic smile.   
  
"Of course, Relena but to go to her while I still have doubts cheats us both."   
  
"Exactly." She whispered. Wufei stood silently offering her his hand. "So... not weak after all ehh little dove?"   
  
She eyed him intently before giving him her hand. He helped her to her feet. "You need sleep if you insist on continuing this madcap schedule of yours." Relena squeezed his hand ignoring his words.   
  
"Thank you." He inclined his head. "You are welcome."   
  
He moved inside, with her following silently behind. Once they reached the door he opened it and tapped. "Lock it. And please stay in now I don't relish facing Yuy if something happened to you." Stepping out he went to close it. "Good night Relena."  
  
"Wufei!" He glanced back lifting his brow quizzically. "Thank you for listening to my rambling. Friends?" She asked wistfully. His face went curiously still.   
  
"I don't know if that would be wise."   
  
Relena tried to smile but failed. "I don't know if I would make a good friend but I.."   
  
He nodded comprehension dawning and with it his face softened. "I understand honesty between one another is a precious thing. To not try would be." He shrugged expansively. "I don't have so many friends that I can afford to be so foolish I'll try to not disappoint you as well."   
  
She grinned and for the first time all-night he became wary. She held out her hand and he gingerly took it. "You tolerate the sometime-muddled thinking of a weak onna and I tolerate your chauvinistic tendency to rant about it. Deal?"   
  
He squeezed her hand. "Cute Minister real cute." He said dryly. As he turned to walk away he realized it was the first time in a week he had seen a genuine smile from her. That he had played some small part in that actually made him feel good.   
  
* * * * *   
  
  
They walked silently both lost in their thoughts. Occasionally Quatre would steal a worried glance at her as he listened to the ebb and flow of her emotions. "You know, I started not to come."   
  
A small smile curved his lips. "I know. You're hurt, you're angry." He tilted his head slightly as if he saw or heard something speaking to him even now. "A little confused." She smiled wryly.   
  
"A little?"   
  
"Do Trowa and I make you uncomfortable now?" Her gaze left his as she stared blindly across the sculptured gardens into the distance. Much to his surprise she didn't answer right away. He felt his heart clench in dread. Receiving that kind of reaction from a stranger was hard enough. Accepting it from someone he considered a friend almost robbed him of his breath. Relena stopped and smiled at him a sweetly poignant smile. She stepped closer pulling him into a hug.   
  
* * * * *  
  
  
  
The three stood on the terrace watching the tableau below. "I don't know about anyone else but I for one am relieved I thought I was going to have to call Quatre myself. Maybe she's finally ready to talk to someone." Trowa and Wufei exchanged looks over Sally's head. "This looks like it could take awhile and I'm thirsty anyone else?"   
  
Trowa nodded, "please." Sally turned. "Wufei?" He nodded.   
  
"Ok be back in a minute."   
  
Trowa studied him thoughtfully. "She doesn't know."   
  
He shook his head. "Relena has said nothing and I have respected her desire for privacy. Soon enough people will make the connection themselves when Schibecker stops coming around." He shrugged negligently. "I confess I'm surprised Yuy miscalculated this badly. Knowing about Relena's parental situation I would think he would know she wouldn't want the lies no matter how painful the truth."   
  
Trowa shrugged. "Relena has always had a powerful effect on Heero what's amazing is that she seems unaware of it. With Heero not knowing how to deal with the situation he may have even subconsciously let all this happen. I'm just glad her disappointment in them didn't carry over to the rest of us."   
  
Wufei's eyebrows arched quizzically. "You were worried about Quatre?" Trowa turned to watch Quatre and Relena resume their stroll. "And myself we've grown fond of her over the years."   
  
Wufei crossed his arms watching the guards following them at a discreet distance. "I don't know her as well as you two obviously. But even I could see that she accepts and cares unreservedly for you both. She's not the type to change her affection once given."   
  
Trowa eyed him thoughtfully the hint of a smile curved his lips. "You've noticed quite allot about someone you barely know. ." He nodded conceding the accuracy of the statement. "It takes much strength to walk her path I find that admirable." He said in a level tone.   
  
Trowa's face turned expressionless as his gaze went toward the pair in the garden. "I've learned when emotions are involved reactions are the least likely to predict." He said flatly. "Especially when someone is feeling betrayed. That she asked Quatre that first night shows me her instincts were good even then. Add to that she's been here several days already and just called for the first time today tells me she was having doubts about which of us knew if any. And did we deliberately keep it from her?"   
  
"Well." Wufei turned watching them. "Whatever doubts she was having apparently it isn't the case any longer."  
  
* * * * *  
  
  
"O Quatre I love you and Trowa dearly. I'd like to think we've made our own little family of sorts. Lord knows my brother is too lost in the past to remember I'm alive and what he manages to give is Noin's. Which is fine I guess you can't miss what you never had. Occasionally though it makes me sad we're all the family we have left and we're strangers. I guess mostly I just feel inadequate."   
  
"O Relena why?"  
  
"I watched them Quatre when I walked in on them it was.. It was.."  
  
"It must have been so horrible for you to find out that way." He soothed. She shook her head.  
  
"I mean yes it was but they were beautiful together Quatre I.." She groped trying to find the words. "I couldn't understand why he was with me. There is something beautiful about two people in love it gives hope for the rest of us. I guess I couldn't help but make comparisons and I found myself lacking I suppose. Am I making sense?"   
  
  
He smiled dropping an arm around her shoulder. "Of course. You did the same for me and others during the war your belief was so unshakeable you gave us hope when we had none. Believed in us when we couldn't believe in ourselves it's a gift beyond measure. Relena Heero loves you very much surly you know that?"   
  
She smiled humorlessly. "Once I might have been able to be convinced of that."   
  
He pulled her to a stop. "Relena, Duo and Heero both have very strong feelings for you. But you don't need me to tell you that. Not really. Do you? Deep down you sense the truth of what I'm saying."   
  
She smiled sadly. "I believe Heero loves me as much as he's capable of."   
  
"And Duo?" Startled she met his gaze. "He told you?"   
  
Quatre shrugged, "the stronger the feelings the easier it is for me to discern. Duo isn't exactly subtle I'm surprised you didn't pick up on it before." She bit her lip.   
  
"Everyone knows?"   
  
Quatre let out a long breath. "As far as I know only a select few Miss Hilde suspected but last weeks events probably have her doubting her initial suspicions about you. Those that are involved of course. Wufei because I asked him to check on you was able to draw his own conclusions. Of course he may have suspected all along and never said anything he and Trowa are like that. But as for discussing it? They haven't said anything."   
  
She pulled away moving toward a rose bush staring at it as if it held the secrets of the universe. Quatre tilted his head frowning with concentration. "Relena ? Let me help if I can." She plucked a rose staring at it thoughtfully.   
  
"Quatre I don't know if you can help me." Sniffing the rose she turned tucking it into one of his empty buttonholes. "Thanks for trying though."   
  
He smiled at the flower before lifting earnest eyes to hers. "Relena we all understand the feeling of despair that comes from having things withheld from us by those we trust." She looked up her arched brow spoke eloquently as she met his gaze.   
  
"So then you tell me Quatre what do I do? Duo and Heero say they both love me they both want me. It isn't even about forgiveness anymore Quatre I get so far and then freeze it all boils down to this I can't get past it. Neither can tell me if they would have ever told me the truth."   
  
Quatre smiled sadly. "I can't tell you what to do Relena and you and I know there are no guarantees in life." She stared at his profile before following his gaze to where Trowa stood.   
  
He turned back and they shared a solemn look. "But I can help you ask yourself the hard questions. Start by answering can you walk away with no regrets? If the answer is yes then there is no need to go any further because all other questions from that point on are moot. And don't try to kid yourself with the just friends angle."  
  
" It might work," she murmured. "I could do it for them."   
  
He was already shaking his head. "You and I both know deep down it will be agony to be around them and simply be friends. They want more and if you don't it would be a constant temptation one I can't see Heero allowing you to ignore. Eventually you would start staying away from them to avoid the pain. But even that wont be easy because they both have been such an important part of your life. I know you it would feel like you've cut a piece of yourself away."   
  
"If the answer is no.." He stopped pausing to gather his thoughts before continuing. "If the answer is no then ask yourself this can you afford not to at least try?" She opened her mouth to reply and he shook his head. "No you don't need to answer just think about what I'm saying. You don't need to rush anything. Heero and Duo certainly felt no such urgency to come clean. You feel hurt and betrayed it's natural to not want to repeat the experience. Healing takes time it can't be rushed nor forced."   
  
Relena smiled wanly, "maybe your right I've been trying to force it maybe I just need to take one step at a time. And then the answers will come." Sliding her arm companionably through his she hugged it to her in silent thanks. "Well let's go join the rest they have patiently avoided us while we talked."   
  
She smiled ruefully, "if it had been.." She paused as shadow crossed her face. Quatre finished her thought. "If it had been Duo he would have been down here five minutes after we started talking."   
  
"Relena." He pulled her to a stop and turned her to face him. Clasping her hands he looked down into her eyes and smiled. "Sometimes in our familiarity with them we forget just how amazing they are."   
  
At her movement he shook his head. "I don't mean their skills. I mean you and I had loving homes families even Wufei had his clans support to fall back on. Look at how Heero was raised. Duo.. Trowa even. Yet their kind and loving people once you get past their defenses. Fiercely loyal to their friends and possessive of they're lovers. Is it so hard to understand why they clung to the status quo? Why even now knowing they were wrong they refuse to let things end. Refuse to let you go Relena?"  
  
"Yet they didn't trust me Quatre. It made me feel everything we had together all those years was a lie."   
  
"Relena I'm not saying what they did was right but set aside your hurt for a moment and imagine suddenly having your dreams come true. You have an important place in their life if you can't believe that. Believe what I feel from them. Would you do something you thought might jeopardize your dream?"   
  
She shook her head staring across the gardens. "I don't know." she whispered. "Probably not."   
  
He squeezed her hands consolingly. "Or would you bite your tongue fearing the first wrong word would resurrect their self-loathing and send them running from you?"   
  
She turned back meeting his gaze intently. "Yes Trowa and I have had our share of difficulties many times I bit my tongue holding my words of love and commitment in until I felt I had to break the stalemate or loose everything. I was not being true to myself. To deny how I normally am was cheating us both." Quatre stared probingly into her eyes. "I sense you understand that all to well."   
  
"So I should go home?" He shook his head tucking her arm back through his. "I think you should rest heal the hole in your heart when it's time you'll know what to do."  
  
* * * * *   
  
  
  
Duo leaned back against the counter watching Heero pad back and forth. Smiling wryly he shook his head. "She was one step ahead of us again lets face it we knew it took more than patience and a loving heart to hold this world on a peaceful course. Hell look who her brother is be glad she doesn't want to be Queen of the world."   
  
Heero surveyed Duo through narrow eyes as he lounged negligently against the kitchen counter."Why am I doing this?" he muttered. "I should just go after her she wouldn't see me anyway unless I let her."   
  
Duo smirked. "But she would know your there. Face it Lena has a built in radar where your concerned." Duo took another sip of his coffee watching him thoughtfully over the rim for a moment. "Did you accept the assignment Une gave you?"   
  
Heero shrugged pouring himself a cup before taking a place beside him at the counter. "It's four days and since I'm free." Heero smirked, "I agreed."   
  
"It'll occupy your mind for a while."   
  
Heero eyed him skeptically. "You're taking this calmly. Too calmly.. What are you up to?"   
  
"We know other than feeling betrayed my part in this is freekin her out. I thought I'd pay a visit to Quatre stay with him while I see if I can give her an incentive to come home." Duo said as he stared broodingly into his coffee  
  
Heero nodded sitting his cup on the counter he moved closer drawing the back of his knuckles down the curve of Duo's cheek. "Careful how you tread."   
  
Duo leaned in covering Heero's lips with his, softly coaxing, and gossamer light, enticing him to follow them in an all to familiar dance. He pulled back a wicked gleam alight in his violet eyes.   
  
"I said incentive not consummation."   
  
  
  
  
March 2001  



	7. Chapter 6

Title: So Close To Heaven  
Author: Amber  
Pairings: 1x2xR  
Warnings: I have taken a few liberties with characters personalities. I'm trying something different; this will be a 1x2xR born from the frustration of Relena finds out stories. Frankly I don't like the idea someone has to be a looser.. If you disagree about character representation here then accept my apologies and please select another story with my blessing having said that one needs to also be aware I'm jumping into the deep end and including graphic lemon scenes in this story that may not suit everyone's taste. Please also avoid, if one is not of age for mature love scenes this story is not for you either. Thank you.  
  
Disclaimer: Gundam belongs to Gundam and any scene or plot similarity to another person's story, movie or anime is purely coincidental.   
  
  
So Close to Heaven   
  
Chapter 6  
  
  
They stared at each other across the expanse of furniture that looked more like a dinning room table than a desk and right now Duo felt every inch of the distance. That was until Quatre smiled.   
  
"Duo what are you doing here?" He shook his head ruefully.   
  
"Am I welcome?" he asked gravely. Quatre stood coming around the desk. "You know you are. Always."   
  
They clasped hands warmly. "However your presence here does cause some concerns. He sighed. "I warned Relena."   
  
Duo's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean? Quatre held up a placating hand before moving to lean back against his desk. He gestured toward the chair waiting until Duo slid into it.   
  
"I warned her she couldn't put this off forever sooner or later one or both of you would grow tired of the waiting. Are you sure about this Duo? Like it or not pressuring her might not be the wisest course of action at the moment."  
  
  
"What else are we supposed to do you can't work something out when the other one is half way across outer space and in no apparent hurry to return? Has she said anything?"   
  
"Yes and no. We've talked a little."  
  
"Come on Quatre help me out here I know if she told anybody anything right now it would be you." Quatre stared at him concerned.   
  
"That angers you why?"   
  
He spread his hands apologetically. "A little once she would have come to me it's hard knowing it's my own fault she won't do that now."   
  
"Duo no one has taken your place in her affections under the confusion and hurt all that was there still remains. And having said that anything else will have to come from her. You and Heero owe her that." Quatre smiled relishing the thought. "You're going to have to work for this Duo and I confess I'm going to enjoy it. Relena is going to give you and Heero a run for your money I hope your prepared. You're going to need to be patient with her."  
  
Duo exhaled blowing upward on his bangs. "I'll try but patience isn't one of my stronger points."   
  
Quatre laughed, "O how well I know so does Relena. Should I expect Heero as well or is this a solo visit?"   
  
"Heero took a mission but between you and me I think he's afraid to force a decision right now in case she decides we're more trouble than we're worth."  
  
Quatre stood and shook his head in rueful amusement. "You don't say.. Well let's get you settled. How long will you be staying with us?"   
  
"Hmm it depends on how successful I am."   
  
"Duo.."   
  
"Hmm?"   
  
Quatre sighed, "nothing she's at a children's orphanage today."   
  
"What's with the decorations?"   
  
"We're throwing a small get together for Relena." He eyed Duo cautiously, "I hope you brought a tux."   
  
"Are you kidding me?" He hefted up a small carry on. Quatre rolled his eyes. "That's what I thought what did you think you were going to do Duo?" He stared at him stunned; "you weren't going break into her hotel were you?"   
  
"No!"   
  
"Duo if Wufei didn't shoot you, Relena just might brain you yet again." He said indignant. "Come I have someone who can get you fixed up then I'll see if Relena is back yet and tell her you're here."   
  
He fidgeted anxiously. "Nah Q it's ok I wasn't going to do that."  
  
He stopped Duo with a hand on his arm. "No? You can't mean to just show up without letting me warn her you're here."   
  
"That's exactly what I planned." His eyes hardened with determination. Quatre stared at Duo in silent dismay.   
  
"Fine then tell her at the party when she can't back out." Duo sighed exasperated.   
  
"Duo Relena wouldn't do that not with Trowa and I throwing it in her honor."   
  
"Yeah right! Man Quatre has she got you wrapped if she doesn't leave she'll have that damn mask of hers in place." He sulked.   
  
"Alright Duo, I'll give you a little leeway but I wont lie to her she's already doubting everyone and everything. I wont add to her pain."  
  
Duo slapped him on the back. "That's all I ask Quatre a head start. I just want to persuade her to come home that's all." Quatre must have sensed something because he stared at Duo suspiciously.  
  
Putting on his most innocent face he met his look. "What?" Quatre shook his head moving slightly ahead of him on the stairs. "I hope you know what your doing."  
  
"So do I." he muttered.  
  
* * * * * *  
  
  
  
Duo stood against the wall watching the beautiful people determined to see and be seen as they moved from group to group, person to person. He acknowledged the presence beside him without turning. "God what a bunch of bottom feeders."  
  
Trowa studied them impassively before he shrugged. "Not all but this is the world she moves in and it's just as deadly as any battlefield we ever faced." Trowa gave him a sidelong glance. "And it will become your world as well if you continue on this course."   
  
Duo took a gulp of the champagne and grimaced. "You act like it's a done deal." Trowa's mouth quirked with a hint of a smile. "No time for cold feet now where's that infamous Maxwell charm?"  
  
He shifted impatiently. "It's not that way with Lena. It's.."   
  
"Real?" Trowa offered. "Probably why she felt so betrayed."   
  
"I know, I know not one of my more brilliant moves." He took another swallow of champagne and looked at the glass. "You know this stuff grows on you but it still tastes like rubbing alcohol if you ask me. How can they stand it?" Trowa shrugged.  
  
"I believe it's an acquired taste."   
  
Duo looked down at the glass and frowned. "Do you really think she can forgive me?" Trowa glanced at him taking in the white-knuckle grip on the glass with a hint of curiosity. Duo shifted restlessly under his intense stare. "Is that what you really want to know? Or is it if she can care for you as much as she does Heero?"   
  
"O I know Heero's always been her everything." Duo forced a deprecating smile. "But she said she loved me it's a start." Trowa shifted staring across the room a small smile curved his mouth.   
  
"Don't underestimate your importance whether Relena knows it or not she's been involved with you both for some time now."   
  
Duo lifted a hopeful gaze. "Huh?" Following Trowa's gaze he turned his head.  
  
"Ladies and Gentleman allow me to present our honored guest for the evening Foreign Minister Relena Darlian"   
  
Duo drew in a steadying breath she looked gorgeous but tired underneath the evening glamour and make up he could still see a weariness of mind and body. His eyes slid down the dress of midnight blue. The front demurely hugged her figure, it's haltered bodice showing a tasteful suggestion of cleavage the over all look was simple and yet stunning. In a word Relena. Then she turned; he sucked in an audible breath. If the front was demure the back was an invitation to sin. What there was of it now he knew why her hair was up this evening to emphasize that long slender expanse of back. Bare back. It definitely made a statement.   
  
Trowa slid him an amused glance. "How you hid your feelings from her as long as you did is amazing." He watched Quatre glance around the crowed hall until he located Trowa then smile just for him. Duo grinned watching Quatre force his eyes away from Trowa to him when he locked eyes with Duo it lasted for a second but it was enough for him to understand. He was now on his own.   
  
He watched her graciously converse with the couple Quatre had introduced her to before he skillfully separated her pulling her aside. The change in body language subtle as it was gave him an odd kind of hope she wasn't indifferent at least he watched her eyes move around the room searching for the cause of Quatre's unrest. He held his breath waiting for her to finally find him against the back of the room. He smirked as Wufei finally noticed the change and seemed to zero in on him instantly. His eyes narrowed as Duo nonchalantly touched his fingers to his temple.   
  
Trowa's low murmur pulled him from the staring contest with Wufei. "Here's your chance to find out how she feels I'd suggest waiting though so you don't embarrass yourself." He glanced pointedly at the bulge in Duo's already tight pants. Duo figured he had at least two seconds before she found him. Just enough time to send Trowa a reproachful glance before he sought out the only thing here that interested him this night. The next few minutes would decide it all because Relena's eyes would tell him everything he needed to know.   
  
  
* * * * * *  
  
  
"Relena, can I speak to you a moment?" Relena smiled politely thanking them for attending before she excused herself. She looked up at Quatre her smile turning natural.   
  
"Of course."   
  
She let him pull her away. "I don't want to you to be taken by surprise so I think you should know in advance." Relena's smile became strained as she studied him with worried eyes.   
  
"Has something happened?"   
  
Quatre shook his head. "O everyone is fine.... Relena Duo is here." She stiffened.   
  
"Where?"   
  
"I just caught a glimpse of him against the wall talking to Trowa." Her hands felt clammy inside her gloves as squeezed Quatre's hand she released her breath in a sigh.   
  
"Well you warned me and I knew I couldn't avoid this forever."   
  
"And maybe, just maybe you now have your answers."   
  
"Answers?" She said tentatively.   
  
"To the hard questions, the doubts that won't let your mind rest at night." Drawing in a steadying breath she gave him a shaky smile.   
  
"Quatre, I'm scared. Isn't that strange?"  
  
"No," he smiled compassionately. "Change is scary, love... Love is terrifying."  
  
* * * * * *  
  
  
Duo smiled grimly it was turning into a stalking but no matter how close he got she managed to elude him or she was snatched away at the last moment. He knew she was aware of him but as yet she hadn't looked at him once all night. "Duo. Enjoying yourself?"   
  
He turned giving Quatre dirty look. "Do I look like it? So far I've watched every jerk off here cop a feel of Lena's back. Me she won't even look at."   
  
Quatre stifled a grin. "Duo don't exaggerate it's a Waltz of course their going to hold her close. And this is Relena we're talking about. Have you ever seen her refuse someone?" He looked at Quatre pointedly. He sighed. "Don't start it probably had nothing to do with waltzing."   
  
Duo grinned recklessly. "You have a point there Q-man excuse me I don't think I've danced with the Princess tonight."   
  
"Duo.. Duo! O Hades."   
  
"If you're going to swear love at least be creative about it." Quatre turned as Trowa brushed his hand over his and took the glass. Turning it he held his gaze, as he placed his mouth where Quatre had been drinking and sipped. For a moment he forgot Duo's impatience, Relena's sadness and the probability of one portly lobbyist being insulted to loose himself in his lovers gaze before the niggling concern prompted him to return to the problem at hand.   
  
He sighed, "Trowa he's going to drive me to drink he promised he would behave." Trowa shrugged handing him back the glass.   
  
"Duo's concept of being good differs just as Heero's. If Heero leaves a party and no one is shot or in Duo's case blown up its considered best behavior."   
  
Trowa eyed Quatre from the corner of his eye with gentle understanding. "Quatre love there is no sense in worrying what will happen will there's no stopping it now. Besides Relena can hold her own."   
  
A faint smile curved his lips and the worry eased slightly he shook his head his friends were unique in their own way. He doubted they would ever truly loose some of their more interesting quirks and the truth be told he seriously doubted he wanted them to. It certainly made life more interesting. Difficult even, but never boring.   
  
Quatre lifted his eyes to Trowa's acknowledging the humor in the situation he chuckled. "I do wish you could have seen his face he said everyone was coping a feel he called it when they danced with Relena."   
  
Trowa raised an eyebrow and smirked. "I'm sorry I missed that." Quatre grinned. "Don't be I think he's just getting started."  
  
  
* * * * * *   
  
Relena watched him stride closer cutting a path among the guests like a wolf among sheep. For a spilt second the image made an enigmatic smile flicker across her face before it disappeared as quickly as it appeared. Her dancing partner inhaled excitedly puffing up like a balloon at last he was making progress with the beautifully aloof minister.   
  
Drawing her closer as close as his stomach would allow. His hand surreptitiously slid up the smooth skin of her back as visions of power and a glorious future with the beautiful woman in his arms by his side excited him. Unfortunately reality intruded rather abruptly with six feet of male hostility and aggression.  
  
"Excuse me, this one is mine I think."   
  
Relena schooled her expression into a polite regret. "Mr. Hendley this is Mr. Maxwell." He eyed Duo with tight-lipped anger and nodded stiffly. "Mr. Maxwell represents the Preventers when he can take the time away from his business on L2."  
  
Touching his arm lightly she smiled. "Apparently in enjoying your company I've not managed my commitments very well perhaps I could impose upon you for a drink while I honor my obligation to Mr. Maxwell."   
  
Duo smirked watching her work her magic by the time she was finished he would have given her the moon if she had asked. He bowed awkwardly before slanting Duo smug look and moving off. Their eyes met and held then he silently he lifted his hands into the proper position and waited. Something shifted in her eyes they softened and for a moment a quicksilver smile came and went so fast he thought he imagined it. She had met him half way he took hope where he could. He pulled her into his arms molding his body snuggly against hers the fingers of his other hand lazily strummed her back.   
  
"Why are you here Duo? I thought we agreed I needed some time."   
  
"I missed you Princess. And you don't seem to be in a hurry to come home." He looked down at her trying to see her eyes but only got her fixed stare focused on the center of his chest. When it became obvious she wasn't going to answer he tried again rather wistfully. "Did you miss me?"   
  
"I've not been gone that long Duo," she said rather obliquely.   
  
"Long enough when I know you're angry with me."   
  
"I'm not angry anymore Duo I haven't been since before I left earth."   
  
"Hurt then."   
  
"Yes you hurt me but now is not the time or place for this."   
  
"Then when? You tell me Lena."   
  
"Keep your voice down."   
  
He sighed, "come home please."  
  
"I'm not finished.."   
  
He interrupted her, "don't bullshit me."   
  
She yielded reluctantly; "fine I chose to take some time to think that's the prudent thing to do."  
  
"Then have enough guts to look at me and say that."   
  
Her eyes flashed turbulently. "Don't tell me what to do I wasn't the one caught screwing your boyfriend so don't you dare take that tone with me!"   
  
He smiled but sadly it was colored with regret. "There they are."   
  
Her brow furrowed. "I..." He held her tighter and their movement stilled until it was nothing more than a gentle swaying, their bodies brushing together with a growing sensuality  
  
"Those eyes they haunt a person awake or sleeping I would know them anywhere."   
  
"Duo."   
  
"Relena we didn't do it to hurt you our intent was.."   
  
"Regardless I was hurt one usually is when secrets are kept." She murmured. "There is no instant fix for that." His hand flattened on her back he felt the muscles along his length tremble and flex, his whole body responding to the intimate touch of her own. Her satiny flesh beneath his hands inflamed him as he stroked her skin softly, moving higher along the tender curve of her spine before repeating the whole process over again.   
  
"Christ Lena you can forgive the woman that killed your father but not us?"   
  
The music stopped, distantly she heard the announcement that they would be taking a small break as she lost herself within his pleading gaze. 'Is that what you want from me?"   
  
"It would go a long way right now to know I ..we are forgiven for hurting you the way we had.. have." She stepped back breaking his hold. Part of her acknowledged the guests coming and going around them like shades; time seemed to slow and narrow and mentally she cringed at the attention they must be attracting. But she needed to make him finally understand what her time away had showed her.   
  
"Do you need the words so badly? Then here they are I forgive you. I forgive Heero it was never about forgiveness. It's about can I let myself become vulnerable again." She took a chance hesitantly meeting him halfway she lifted her hand to cup his face. "It's about trust."  
  
"Minister? Miss Relena is everything all right?" Duo's eyes narrowed. "Why don't you.."   
  
"Thank you Mr. Hendley." She deftly intervened. "I was just saying to Mr. Maxwell how warm the evening is."   
  
"Your drink, Miss Relena it should do the trick."   
  
He stared suspiciously at Duo before cupping her arm and steering her away. "I've heard Mr. Winner has a remarkable view of the gardens from his balcony perhaps..."   
  
"Things not going well eh?"   
  
Duo turned and glared at Wufei. "Bite me Wu."   
  
"Try Maxwell to act your age. Walk with me."   
  
"Look I.."   
  
"Hear me out or continue to batter yourself against a fortress that is stronger than you." They headed the long way through the hallways until they entered the garden giving Duo a perfect view of Relena standing with Tubby on the balcony. "Have you ever read or heard any fables?"  
  
"Wu give.."   
  
"Maxwell for once in your life listen and learn we can learn allot from our ancestors. Have you?"  
  
"There wasn't allot of time for fairy tales if I wanted to eat." He nodded as if that was what he suspected.   
  
"There is a story called the Butterfly Lovers. Legend has it long ago two friends fell in love. He met the friend at school. In those days it was different, what the young man didn't know was his friend was a woman. In that era such things were forbidden girls were not permitted to attend school. But they fell in love not only was the young man in love with a girl but someone far exceeding his social realm. In truth for that era...it was hopeless."  
  
Duo sighed. "Fascinating as this is Wufei do you have a point?" Wufei's eyes narrowed.   
  
"Listen you screwed up you lied something according to Duo Maxwell the self proclaimed Shinigami doesn't do.'   
  
Duo blew upward on his bangs. "Point taken. Go ahead."  
  
"The family told him she died and arranged her marriage to a man matching her station; on learning this Liangshan Bo mourned yearning to be with his love. In his yearning for his love he died. Zhu Yingtai agreed to marry the man her family had chosen. But on the condition that only if the marriage procession bypassed her lover's grave."   
  
"God Wu how is that suppose to help me??"   
  
He rolled his eyes. "Very well Maxwell you have a woman that cares deeply for you but she has doubts. Not only are you asking her to step beyond traditional but your also asking her to gamble everything she holds dear. If that wasn't enough she found out yet again those closest to her have lied to her for some time. Show her she's desired, loved, that her trust not unfounded. She proved herself to you both by setting you free. Now prove yourself to her." Wufei turned moving back into the shadows until he was just a shape in the night.   
  
"Wu!" Wufei paused and Duo asked curiously. "How did the story end what happened to the girl?"  
  
"When they passed his tomb it opened, jumping off the sedan chair she dove inside. When they went in to get her all they found was two beautiful butterflies that emerged and soared away into the sky. Legend has it even today they are the spirits of the young lovers. If its real and true Duo it will not be denied."  
  
"Real." He murmured thoughtfully as he turned back toward the balcony to watch her enter the crowded hall once more.  
  
  
* * * * * *  
  
  
Relena moved through the darkened halls like a wraith. Her bare feet soundless on the cold marble floors she was so tired her body cried out for sleep but her mind wouldn't let her. Still dressed ..well except for shoes she smiled wryly her mind went in circles as she pondered her latest impulse.   
  
Perhaps it hadn't been such a good idea to agree to stay at Quatre's instead of going back to the hotel. She knew Duo was here as well. So why had she agreed? Relena sighed as she left the upper hall and headed toward the stairs maybe she was thinking too much maybe...   
  
"Miss Relena is there something I can help you with?"   
  
She swung sharply toward the voice then smiled nervously. "No that's all right I'll be fine."   
  
"It's no trouble miss." She shook her head.   
  
"I'll find my way and then head back to bed you've done enough tonight one of us should try and get some rest."   
  
He bowed low. "As you wish then. Goodnight."  
  
"Goodnight.."   
  
Relena descended to the bottom floor. Taking a moment to orient herself within the dark Relena paused before she headed in the direction she thought was the quickest route to the garden.   
  
Pushing the double doors open she cut through the shadowy room noting the cheery fire blazing in the fireplace with a cursory glance. Her focus was the illumination of the artificial sky beyond the glass. Something inside was already loosening and relaxing as her mind flew ahead to the cool leafy darkness of the garden beyond to the sweet scent of the hundreds of different flowers permeating the air subtly enough to tempt the passerby to stop and linger.   
  
"Just where do you think your going?"   
  
  
  
  
April 2001  



	8. Chapter 7

Title: So Close To Heaven  
Author: Amber  
Pairings: 1x2xR  
Warnings: I have taken a few liberties with characters personalities. I'm trying something different; this will be a 1x2xR born from the frustration of Relena finds out stories. Frankly I don't like the idea someone has to be a looser.. If you disagree about character representation here then accept my apologies and please select another story with my blessing having said that one needs to also be aware I'm jumping into the deep end and including graphic lemon scenes in this story that may not suit everyone's taste. Please also avoid, if one is not of age for mature love scenes this story is not for you either. Thank you.  
  
Disclaimer: Gundam belongs to Gundam and any scene or plot similarity to another person's story, movie or anime is purely coincidental.   
  
  
  
So Close to Heaven   
  
Chapter 7  
  
  
Relena's eyes closed wearily before turning to face that all to familiar voice. "I was going into the garden I can't sleep too restless I guess." Taking a step back into the room she turned squinting to try and make out where he was in the shadows.   
  
"It's not safe for you to be out in the dark alone but I suppose I'm the last person you'll take advice from now." Relena moved forward again her eyes searching the room.   
  
"I'll be fine," she murmured noncommittally. "I'm sure Wufei is watching out for me."   
  
"Hmm that use to be Heero's calling." She winced looking down she wished she had taken her hair out at least she would have had something to hide behind.   
  
"Don't worry angel no eleventh hour pleadings, no more excuses." At his tone she stepped forward he sounded so defeated it frightened her for some reason. "Duo.."   
  
"I don't suppose you would skip the commune with nature to stay and talk to me." She sighed it sounded loud within the confines of the room in spite of the crackle and hiss of the fire. "No hmm? Such a long face no need I understand."   
  
"Duo enough already where are you?"   
  
"I'm here in the dark where I belong." While he talked she moved closer using his voice as a guide.   
  
"That's not true." A hard laugh cut through the silence by this time she stepped out in front of him as he sat on the floor against the couch. In the shifting firelight he looked otherworldly and the urge to reach out and touch him to make sure he was real was overwhelming.   
  
"Duo don't ..."   
  
He had discarded his jacket and tie along with several of the button of his shirt he looked comfortably rumpled. But not drunk she decided as she studied him intently. He stared dreamily into the fire. "You know my earliest memories were of being cold and hungry."   
  
"Duo," she whispered mournfully.   
  
A smile ghosted across his face. "O it was ok at least I wasn't alone I had a friend we sort of took care of one another for a little while anyway."   
  
Relena knelt by his side. "What happened?" He took her hand studying it as his thumb softly rubbed across the top.   
  
"So that's what it takes to get you to stop being pissed at me a sob story." He smiled ruefully.   
  
Her brow furrowed. "Don't."   
  
He sighed. "He got sick there wasn't enough medicine so he died." Closing his eyes Duo placed her hand against his cheek while they sat there in silence. When he continued his tone was barely audible almost as if he was talking to himself. "You know your hands are soft and smooth just like hers."   
  
Her brow furrowed worriedly she didn't want to break the mood he rarely touched on his past and she had missed their heart to hearts through all this. "Who?" She urged softly.  
  
"Sister Helene. Occasionally we'd stop in the church get some food when things got too scarce on the streets or crash for the night so we didn't have to worry about getting our throat cut for a jacket or whatever spare cash we had managed to steal." His eyes lifted to meet hers. "Does that shock you?"   
  
Touched she shook her head. "Of course not you were a child just trying to survive." She said huskily. He smiled turning her hand he placed a kiss on the center of her palm.   
  
"When Solo died I went more and more it wasn't so lonely somehow." A deep sadness filled his eyes as he shifted to stare intently into hers. "There's a gentleness in you that reminds me of her so much it scares me. Fragile things don't last long around me."   
  
Relena swallowed the lump in her throat. "I'm not fragile." His smile carried such regret. "I know but no matter how careful I was you left me anyway.'   
  
"Duo you never had me to loose." She said gently but firmly.   
  
"Aahh but it wasn't for lack of my trying." He smiled running a finger along the edge of her gown where her flesh met material stopping just short of the v that shadowed her cleavage.   
  
"Have I told you I love this dress it's almost as soft as your skin.. Almost." He grinned wickedly.   
  
She frowned, "why do you do that let people in so far then make it all a joke?"   
  
"Because you need me to."   
  
"No. I.. How can you say that?"   
  
"Yes think about it I've been honest with you from the beginning about how I feel."   
  
"No.." She started to stand. Duo grabbed her hand stilling her.   
  
"Yes my birthday wasn't the only time I tried to gently coax the blinders off remember? But each time I got close to showing you I was serious you panicked because in your mind that meant giving up Heero. That meant choosing."   
  
She shook her head her eyes widened with the dawning realization. "No that was the Christmas party too much champagne, the heat of the moment. You forgot the hospital Lena very telling I think."  
  
"I didn't.." She shook her head. Why are you..."   
  
He smiled sweetly, "aahh angel you didn't do anything I didn't let you do. You see you taught me something important even with all the difficulties. Being with you and Heero was as close to heaven as I could imagine."   
  
"But .."   
  
He placed a finger against her lip. "Whether you realize it or not you've been involved with us both since the beginning it always goes back to the three of us." Duo moved to his knees and cupped her face between his hands. "Do you think that Heero and I normally do that sort of thing in the office?"   
  
She tried to turn her face but trapped between his hands she was forced to stare into his eyes. Her days of running and avoidance were over but still that instinct to avoid the pain remained. He watched the tear slide down her face and winced.   
  
"What do you mean?"   
  
"You're usually quicker than this Lena."   
  
She frowned choosing her words carefully. "Your saying that I was suppose to catch you and Heero?"   
  
Duo leaned his forehead against hers. "I have no proof it's just a feeling think about what happened that night against the Heero we've known for years." He shrugged. "He's just too thorough to allow someone to come up on him unawares especially while he's at work."   
  
"He wanted to hurt me?" Her voice quavered.   
  
He pulled back and with a slight tug he laid himself against the back of the couch once more this time with Relena clasped to his chest. "You know better than that maybe he sensed we were finally ready. All these years Relena he's pushed and tested you mostly subconsciously I think... to see at what point you'd draw the line but each time you rose to the challenge. When you walked this time he had a coronary."   
  
Duo pushed the sweep of hair back covering her unadorned ear and rubbed it gently between his thumb and forefinger. "Would Heero give you such an obvious declaration?" He grinned, "well for him that is and then turn around and screw up so badly?"   
  
"That was a huge chance I might not have ever forgiven you or him." She said huskily.  
  
"I trusted you with my life so many years ago. How could I not trust you with my faith as well."   
  
"Faith? Don't you mean love?"   
  
"Naw, you've already had that for a long time now."  
  
Relena tried for a smile but it quivered and died. "Well with such a leap of faith how can I do anything less."   
  
He blinked. Then comprehension dawned and a huge smile transformed his face. "That's..."   
  
Relena stilled his words by placing a small kiss on the corner of his mouth, slowly she raised her hand, reaching for a strand of hair that had escaped his braid. He froze fascinated watching the absorbed concentration on her face as she rubbed the silky strands of his hair between her fingers.   
  
She hadn't touched anything but his hair but it was the most arousing thing he had ever seen it was ridiculous he was hard as a rock. His breath stuttered and quit as the rest of his body went into over drive from the soft smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. It held him spellbound.  
  
His hair was so soft it slid thru her fingers like silk truth be known it had always fascinated her but that would have to wait for another time. She sighed releasing it she tucked it behind his ear.   
  
Damn his heart was pounding so loud it was a wonder she couldn't hear it. God that dreamy look went straight to his groin. He shifted trying to ease the strain these tight ass pants put on his erection. He should have known when Quatre told the tailor he was looking for something to impress a girl it would be painful in one way or another. As slight as his movement was it was enough for her to start regaining her composure.   
  
She cupped his cheek. "It's late I should try and get some rest before we go home." She pulled away but then hesitantly brushed his lips with hers. "Goodnight.."   
  
And then she was halfway across the room before he could bring enough blood back from his nether regions to make his remaining brain cells work. Leaving behind a trace of wildflowers lingering in the air and the delicate swish of velvet once again she had somehow eluded his reach.   
  
Relena had just pulled the door open when two tan arms slid past her to push the door closed again. "Duo?" She went to turn but he leaned in against her caging her between the wood and his body.  
  
"Don't go."   
  
"I have to." She said trying not to think too much about how erotic it was just the two of them exchanging secrets in the night or how the heat from his body seemed to be luring her deeper into a moment she was as nervous about as she was excited.  
  
"Please .I.. I'm afraid you wont come back." He dropped his forehead onto her shoulder as if it pained him to admit it out loud.  
  
"Duo I wouldn't lie to you."   
  
Duo rolled his head back and forth noticing the subtle scent of flowers filling his nose. He shifted to rubbed his cheek against the smooth silky skin inhaling deeply he instinctively sought the source. Duo closed his eyes swallowing against the sudden dryness in his mouth as his body helplessly responded to hers.  
  
"I know but this seems to be the pattern lately two steps forward three steps back. I'm afraid one of these times you wont be back."  
  
He dropped a kiss between slender fold of her neck and shoulder and felt her shiver. "You smell so good Lena. I'd catch myself making excuses to get close enough to smell your hair, your skin. It didn't matter that I'd be stuck with a hard on and no relief in sight it was a small price to pay for those stolen moments. Does it please you to know that when you enter a room I want you so much I feel like I'm on a rack." His husky whisper against her ear sent another shiver through her body as she felt the tip of his tongue trace the delicate ridge of her ear.   
  
She arched back against his body wordlessly consenting. He made a pleased little hum then gently enclosed her earlobe sucking drawing in the sensitive bit of flesh. "I think you like that just a little, me going home and jacking off with your name on my lips."   
  
He set his teeth against her and firmly tested the skin before apologetically laving the spot with his tongue. She moaned her mind tried desperately to think coherently enough to send the message to her hands to hold on as she divided her attention between the feeling and standing upright. Finally need won her legs trembled so much she doubted she could stand a moment longer her hands clenched in frustration against the wood before reaching back to grabbed his thighs and start a kneading motion.   
  
"What's wrong angel doesn't he tell you this stuff?" He whispered hoarsely.   
  
Relena stiffened blindly turning in his arms. "Easy." His hands went to her waist drawing her snugly against him the bulge in his pants was evident to her even through the yards of material between them.   
  
"Duo this isn't.."   
  
"Shssh. I know.. Let me show you in my own way."   
  
He lowered his head his lips moving over and against hers as if he was making love to them as well. Her hands clenched in the sides of his shirt while he rocked his erection suggestively against her stomach. Reality trickled in for a moment when she felt him start gradually bunching her gown up to reach the skin below.   
  
Relena turned her face breaking the claim his lips had on hers. "Duo.."   
  
"Hmm?" His lips didn't hesitate as they followed plying the side if her face, the curve if her jaw, the sweep of her throat.   
  
"Duo."   
  
His hand had found its goal flesh. Silky soft and oo so bare skin. "Christ." He murmured against her throat. "Where is all that junk you women wear underneath here not that I'm complaining mind you but you'll be the death of me."   
  
"Then stop someone might see."  
  
He shuddered feeling the heat of her whispered words breathed against his lips he was almost past that point now his shirt was soaking wet and clung to his back as if he had been in the desert. God this was so good he wanted nothing more than to take her where they stood. But he promised. blindly he nuzzled against her face.   
  
"I know we can't I'll stop. Just a little longer." He pleaded. His hand cupped the bend of her leg and lifted while the other cupped her bare backside and urged her tight against his aching flesh. "Damn no underpants either your naked?"   
  
"You wish," her lips quirked involuntarily.   
  
"Ahh." Long slender fingers continued their manipulations until they found the strap like material down the center of her cleft and toyed with it teasingly. She shifted restlessly   
  
"Duo what are you doing?"   
  
He blinked and something between and groan and a laugh escaped. "If you need to ask I need to work on my technique." His eyes narrowed taking in her hungry eyes and flushed face.   
  
"Put your arms around my neck." He ordered hoarsely. Almost hypnotically she lifted her arms clasping them behind his head. In one fluid motion, he lifted her up pressing her against the wood. "Kiss me."   
  
Relena blinked hazily. Deliberately taunting him she licked her lips then slowly leaned in and licked his. Duo growled hunger was a harsh task master he couldn't wait any longer he had already waited years to long as far as he was concerned. Tired of her teasing he tried to take control only to crash and burn. She nipped his lip rebuking him.   
  
"You said kiss me and that's what I'm going to do."   
  
Her hands left his neck to slide into his hair her legs clenched around his waist as she pulled him closer then covered his mouth with hers. Delicate and light as a feather they teased and coaxed tantalizing in their promise yet just beyond reach of delivery her breasts brushing sensuously against his chest was wantonly seductive as her tongue tantalized his already overheated system with images of what it would feel like to have it elsewhere on his body. The seducee had suddenly become the seducer. O god gotta stop gotta stop now.. its too much..  
  
His head fell back breaking the kiss, nostrils flared as he inhaled the sweet musky smell of arousal it should have been enough. But it wasn't he wanted more surely he could hang on just a little longer.   
  
"Are you quitting now?" He shifted until he held her bottom with one hand while his other cupped her throat.  
  
"I .. I not yet." He gritted.   
  
Eyelids fluttered closed as she arched deeper into his hand. He moaned when her hands lifted to cover his thinking she meant to stop him instead she gently clasped his and guided him across her shoulders. Tilting her head she paused long enough to lay her cheek against the top of his hand before urging him on across the top of her chest. Arching her back she thrust her breasts toward him pleadingly. He hesitated a second then with his finger slowly traced the edge of the material down into the shadowy cleft. He dipped the finger inside brushing against the edge of lace. Withdrawing his finger back to the bodice of the dress he looked up watching her face as he pulled the material and the bra below her breast before sliding across to do the same to the other.   
  
Exhaling he blew his bangs upward. "Man Lena you're a walking wet dream." He grinned. 'Do you like me looking at your breasts?" His finger brushed against the hardened tips. "I know I'm certainly enjoying it," he muttered.   
  
"Are you?" Her hands lifted cupping the sides she pushed them in and up toward him. "Are you sure?" Easing her clasp she splayed her fingers slowly sliding along the sides to the front and lightly stroked. He swallowed fascinated with the way her nipples played peek a boo through her fingers.   
  
"Positive," he croaked.   
  
His hand lifted hovering above her breast he dragged his eyes from it to her. She smiled lifting her eyebrow quizzically.. good enough he cupped it, then lifted it molding it softly while hungrily watching her face. She bit her lip arching into his touch her head tilted back against the door as if too over come to remain upright. Relena tightened her hold on his sides as she pressed her crotch against his stomach and writhed against him.   
  
"God angel you're killing me but what a way to go. Just one taste then I'll stop you'll go to your bed and I'll go mine."   
  
He leaned forward rubbing his mouth back and forth against her rosy nipple slowly circling it. His hand trailed downward unerringly drawn to her silky warmth. His finger traced the narrow strip covering moist swollen lips. He laughed. "You do want me," he murmured wonderingly.   
  
Relena forced her eyes open and blinked hazily thrusting her hands in his hair she pulled his face close and kissed him sucking hungrily on his bottom lip and tongue she devoured his mouth aggressively until he slid his finger beneath her strap into her soaked fold.   
  
She stiffened, "O god Duo what are you doing?"   
  
"Again with the obvious." He gently worked her. "I can't believe how tight you are next time Lena." He rubbed his face and cheek against her breast. "It'll be a bed I promise and it won't be my finger you squeeze until then." He swallowed audibly. "This time is just for you."  
  
He inserted a second finger and gradual increased his pace when his mouth covered her breast and suckled she whimpered and helplessly grabbed his shoulders for purchase. With each deep tug her muscles clenched reflexively around his fingers pulling him back in as her hips rolled for added sensations. It was starting and so quickly too sucking in a shaky breath she felt Duo lift his head and the sensation of his eyes caressing her face even behind closed lids was as strong as a physical touch. The delicate quivers built and she was torn between holding her breath so she could focus on keeping it aimed at that one spot that specific pace or the sensuous eroticism of watching Duo watch her while she came. His finger flicked her bud keeping pace with the thrusts.   
  
"That's it sing for me Relena."   
  
He scraped his nail against her button once more when she arched biting her lip to muffle a cry her body convulsed lovingly around his fingers. His gaze gently traveled over her face smugly pleased at the sated look in her eyes in spite of his agony. Her breathing puffed against his bangs as he watched her slowly lean her head against the door and go boneless. He lifted a trembling hand and caressed her cheek. Carefully he adjusted her bra then kissing the swell of her heaving breasts a reluctant goodbye he lifted her bodice back in place. Her arms draped around his neck lazily toying with his hair as he moved his hands to her waist and lowered her along his aching flesh to stand on her toes. He flinched when she brushed against his swollen crotch easing her slightly away he brushed a kiss across her forehead.   
  
"There not a hair out of place and I remained on my best behavior. Shall I escort you to your room malady?" His voice sounded slightly amused.   
  
With a shivery sigh her eyes fluttered open and met his own. "Your feeling quite smug with yourself right now aren't you?"   
  
One corner of the firm mouth twitched up. "The only thing better would have been you, me, a bed and room service." He dropped a chaste peck on her nose and stepped back. "Come on angel the sooner you're in bed the quicker we can leave." He stopped abruptly. "You haven't changed your mind have you?"   
  
She smiled eyeing him curiously. "Did I ever have a chance?"   
  
"Huh?" He eyed her warily preparing to carefully word his answer. She shook her head and stepped into hug she didn't say any more so bit by bit he relaxed into her his head bending to nuzzle the clean scent of her hair. Relena shifted closer still enjoying the steady thrum of his heart until he hissed. She pulled back puzzled.   
  
Duo gave her a strained smile. "I need a shower, preferably cold. Masturbation and fantasies aren't going to be good enough any more. After tonight only the real thing will do." Her eyes drifted down until she came to his groin. She smiled enigmatically and tucked herself against his side softly stroking his chest.   
  
"That's right you promised to be good didn't you?"   
  
He grabbed her hand stilling it. "Lets not push our luck." Duo yelped when she grabbed him pushing him against the door with a glint in her eye.   
  
"But I made no such promise.."  
  
  
  
May 2001   
  



	9. Epilogue

Title: So Close To Heaven  
Author: Amber  
Pairings: 1x2xR  
Warnings: I have taken a few liberties with characters personalities. I'm trying something different; this will be a 1x2xR born from the frustration of Relena finds out stories. Frankly I don't like the idea someone has to be a looser.. If you disagree about character representation here then accept my apologies and please select another story with my blessing having said that one needs to also be aware I'm jumping into the deep end and including graphic lemon scenes in this story that may not suit everyone's taste. Please also avoid, if one is not of age for mature love scenes this story is not for you either. Thank you.  
Disclaimer: Gundam belongs to Gundam and any scene or plot similarity to another person's story, movie or anime is purely coincidental.  
  
  
So Close to Heaven   
  
  
  
Chapter 8  
  
Her hands slid up his arms and shoulders before returning to retrace a path across his chest. "Lena? Ah hell Lena." He faltered as her hands disappeared inside his shirt pushing it open nails brushed his paps. Hissing he forced his hands to grab hers. "Relena what are you doing?"   
  
She looked at him through her lashes. "If I have to tell you I need to work on my technique." She mimicked. Relena leaned forward and licked his nipple moving closer still her hands splayed wider and the slight ping of buttons popping and flying echoed loudly in the room. Trailing kisses down his chest her nails lightly scored a path behind her lips. She felt him shiver. Relena purred a pleased little sound.  
  
"Damn it Lena your going to make me come in my pants." Her lips closed around his nipple and scrapped her teeth on it before laving it her hand slid down and cupped him through the material of his pants. "If you keep that up I'm... ahhhh yessss."   
  
Both hands joined. One traced the length of him within the pants while the other undid the belt. His head fell back against the door with a thud as the zipper slid down a few teeth then stopped. At first the relief was welcome but the hand sliding between his legs to cup his balls ended any hope of relief. He decided she was trying to make him crazy. Relena tightened her hand around the bulge that must have been his balls and squeezed.   
  
He whimpered grabbing her arm with both hands. "What's wrong? She nuzzled against his nipple. rubbing her face and lips against the tightened pap. "Don't you want me to touch you?"   
  
Relena blew against the rosey nub before bestowing a parting kiss on it. Slipping a hand free she slid the zipper down a few more notches her lips curved in a satisfied smile as he whimpered and tightened his hands on hers. She continued to fondle his balls. "O god yes touch wherever you want however you want don't stop."   
  
"You sure?" The zipper slid down another inch and her eyes lifted at the moan of relief as engorged cotton strained pushing against the opening of his pants. "I wouldn't want to do anything you didn't want."   
  
"Damn Angel quit torturing me." His hands left her and grabbed for purchase against the door as he arched wantonly toward her.   
  
"I thought you wanted to be good." She pushed the zipper the rest of the way down and shoved the pants and briefs to land with a satisfying hush on the floor. Stepping back to survey her handiwork she had to admit he was gorgeous in a way so different from Heero his reactions were so refreshing. So vocal in his expression of appreciation that in itself was so sexy maybe just maybe he was right it didn't have to be either or. Relena smiled a sensuous smile as her eyes drifted down his taut body. He did indeed look like he was being tortured.   
  
Time had been kind to Duo slender and reed thin in his youth maturity had only enhanced and improved on his body. Wide muscular shoulders and arms tapered into a washboard stomach to die for his proud erection surged an impressive length out from a dark thatch of curls that had Relena asking herself how she had been so oblivious to his beauty all these years.   
  
"Relena.." His voice was an uncertain whisper.   
  
Her eyes reluctantly lifted and met his she could see the hunger the yearning for something to complex to pin down. She cupped his cheek and smiled reassuringly; for a moment relief flickered in his eyes then they drifted closed as he leaned into her hand. Pulling away she slid her hand down his neck watching as he tilted his head back against the door curiously her eyes followed the path her hand made as it trailed across his chest. Duo sucked in a shaky breath as her hand continued lower gliding along the individual muscles that defined his stomach when her thumb brushed the tip of his penis and gently rubbed in the drop of moisture there he moaned.   
  
"Do you like that Duo?" Her finger slid along the ridges and veins as it twitched helplessly in response. "Do you like my hands on you?" Relena slid her hand down to encircle his shaft and slowly stroked from its base to the tip. "Did you ever fantasize about me taking you in my mouth." He mewled rolling his head back forth against the door. "O god angel have mercy."  
  
Relena glanced down at the flushed head quivering with each stroke. "But you didn't answer me would you like to feel my tongue licking you, my lips drawing you in my mouth as far as I can caressing you?"   
  
"Damn," he muttered hoarsely.   
  
Her hands slowly withdrew and he hung there clinging to the wall in supplication his body language screaming out to take him he was hers. He gritted his teeth waiting for her return his entire body straining forward silently begging for the sweet torture of her hands her mouth hell whatever she wanted to give him when she flicked her tongue into the slit of his penis every coherent thought stopped except one.   
.   
"Again," he rasped.   
  
Relena looked up a thick fan of lashes drew attention to cheeks more prominent as his features tightened with desire. Nostrils flared reminding her of a predator who had just spotted his prey. It was raw earthy and incredibly sexy and the fact that it was for her... Because of her it was so deliciously erotic she could admit it now it made him all the more desirable. She felt a trembling hand stroke her cheek pulling her from her thoughts into the present and the wet heat of her own arousal trickling down the inside of her thighs had her once more giving him her undivided attention.   
  
"Please." He breathed his voice thickly laden with sensuality. Her tongue peaked out and the tip dabbed anxiously at the moisture beading the top of her lip. Gently cupping the base of his penis she locked eyes with him and held it as her tongue lapped at the silky wetness covering the head. Releasing him from her mouth she rubbed the moist knob around the edges of her lips. Inhaling deeply she savored the musky smell of their combined arousal.   
  
"Is this what you wanted Duo? Does it feel good?" She moved on to scrape her nails in the tight dark curls surrounding his cock. Clenching her nails into his pubic hair she heard him hiss thru his teeth.  
  
"Fuck. Yes, yes quit teasing Relena please." Sighing Relena studied him wistfully she wished she had more time rubbing her finger across his weeping cock.   
  
"I though you wanted me to talk." Softly murmured words breathed against his heated flesh making him whimper. "Shssh its alright," she crooned.   
  
One hand guided him into her mouth and he groaned, Drawing him in deeper she suckled and caressed with her tongue until she felt the springy softness of his bush teasing her chin. Her eyes opened to slits, when she felt his fingertips slide along the sides of her cheeks and jaw, cradling her face savoring the shift and pull within her moist satiny recesses. Duo felt her hand cup his balls and he released her to once more hold himself up against the wood. A strangled moan escaped his lips when he felt her other hand glide around his hip and cheek and insert a moist finger into his entrance and carefully search for his sweet spot. He arched closer into her as he froze a willing captive to the magic she worked on his body. Surrounded and impaled it was too much Duo gasped.   
  
"O Christ." He whimpered. "Don't stop."   
  
Arching taut he clung to the door as the combination of her lips and tongue and the wicked manipulations of her hands sent him over the edge. Even as he came he was plotting the quickest and most effect way to get them all into a bed together. As his climax eased and his breathing slowly returned to normal his eyelids reluctantly opened in protest. He felt a final kiss delicately placed against his now flagging erection, digits slowly withdrew caressing in their passing as she stood.   
  
Relena brushed a hand against his bangs pushing them out of his eyes. A faint smile teased the corners of her mouth. She slid her hands along the side of his face sinking them into his hair her lips brushed and passed and touched again as she savored his lips. She slowly pulled away hands falling to her sides as her expression suddenly became solemn. "Duo.."   
  
He grabbed her arms tightly his eyes entreated as he searched her face intently. "Tell me your not sorry."   
  
"I'm not sorry."   
  
He gradually relaxed but didn't release his hold. "What then?" She looked down taking his braid she slid it thru her fingers as she took a calming breath.   
  
"It's not you and yet it is." Her smile turned rueful. "Change is scary." His arm went around her waist pulling her off her feet and tight against his chest.   
  
"You are not chickening out now," he seethed.   
  
Relena sighed and relaxed into him molding her body into his. "I won't change my mind but then I haven't in all these years. Have I?"   
  
He groaned dropping his head back against the door banging it several times. "I don't get it. You want it. I want it. You said you're not pissed any more. I love you Lena." He cupped her cheek. "Christ we go up in flames together and I haven't even gotten you in a bed yet. What am I missing?"   
  
"About four years worth of silence."   
  
"Ah... And you hate me for that don't you?" She caught the hurt look before he ducked slowly lowering her to her feet. Stepping back he silently bent and started getting dressed. She bit her lip.   
  
"Duo.. I couldn't hate you even if I tried. And I wanted to ..I do love you.." His head snapped up and he met her gaze with watchful eyes. She went to swing away but he grabbed her arm stilling her.   
  
"Don't walk away."  
  
She winced at the hardness in his tone and shook her head how could she explain when she wasn't even sure she understood.   
  
"Duo a part of me is still that girl that followed a strange boy all over creation because I craved answers. The questions are different but I still need those answers."   
  
"And if you can't get those answers Lena what then?"   
  
"I have to try."   
  
Duo shook his head. "So where do we go from here?" She moved from his arms and opened the door. Relena looked back over her shoulder her eyebrow quirked.   
  
"I'm going to bed, then home". Relena smiled tilting her head mischievously. "And then I'm going to take a vacation." She opened the door and stepped through. She stuck her head back around the door and looked at him still standing there. "You coming?"   
  
He blinked dazedly then nodded. "Uh yeah.. Yes mam."  
  
"Well then close our mouth and come on."  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
The shuttle ride back had been a decidedly silent one everyone was watching everyone else with a decidedly unabashed curiosity. Well with a few exceptions Relena had studiously kept her gaze somewhere beyond the shuttle window and it was evident to all she preferred her own thoughts. Wufei had entered the shuttle after a thorough going over and had promptly stretched out and closed his eyes. Which left the security detail staring between he and Sally trying to figure out the strange circumstances that seemed to surround this entire visit. Duo had twitched and fidgeted since leaving Quatre's that morning.   
  
The one consolation was at least those two hadn't seemed surprised. Other than the amused knowing look Trowa gave him he thought he managed an innocent enough mien to satisfy anyone's suspicions. He glanced at Relena and a soft smile unknowingly spread across his face. His eyes followed the sweep of hair casually pulled back into a bow then followed the silken curve of her throat and beyond. Leaning forward his smile grew wicked as his eyes followed the path her perfume had taken this morning. Duo straightened belatedly remembering they weren't alone and just how close he had leaned in while reliving a memory he would cherish until he died.  
  
His eyes swung swiftly to Wufei and widened. He was awake and met his look with a shrewd gaze and knowing smirk. Damn he could be a smug ass probably taking all the credit for his current good fortune with Relena. He was about to stick his tongue out at him and really piss him off when with a sinking feeling he suddenly remembered Sally. Sally who so far knew squat Sally who could be perceptive without trying too damn perceptive for his liking.   
  
His eyes cut to hers and his heart sunk. Sally sat there watching him and his antics and from the raised brow and curiously probing look had been doing so for some time. Duo mentally sighed nothing to do but brazen it out. He grinned and shrugged crossing his arms he stretched and decided to close his eyes and get some rest he had a feeling he was going to need it before to long. Besides if his eyes were closed then they wouldn't be staring at Lena like a lovesick idiot. Problem solved. For now anyway.   
  
  
  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
  
Relena stood at the edge of the water all in white and gold the wispy material swirling and dancing in the breeze made her look ethereal in the moonlight. The profusion of white flowers covering the pathway from the beach to the water, seemed to linger around the area with an almost pervasive scent, filling the air ones hair their clothes adding an almost surreal quality to the setting.   
  
Once she had returned home she had released Sally and Wufei with all the diplomacy she could muster then set about rearranging her schedule with a ruthlessness and efficiency only her closest companions would appreciate. Duo's presence had helped once they realized she wouldn't be completely unprotected the excuses and justifications became easier. Then it was only a matter of finding a setting secluded enough for the final showdown with her old life and the beginning of her new. Still it wasn't without some difficulty  
  
Wufei lingered holding her gaze after Sally walked off. "You have decided."  
  
She smiled nervously. "I've accepted that I have to try."   
  
He nodded. "It will come with a price," he warned.  
  
"I know but one of them wont be regret."   
  
He smiled. "Then good hunting little dove."   
  
"Thank you Wufei." Squeezing his hand in farewell she moved back into her office and set about revamping her world for the next seven days.   
  
His smile lingered after she closed the door. "Good luck Relena."   
  
  
Relena's head lifted abruptly as she returned to the present. Heero had come he was finally here. The sand clung to her feet and ankles as she turned heading back across the beach now that the moment she dreaded had arrived she was curiously anxious for it to happen. Duo had argued most persuasively about leaving a message of some sort but she was adamant she couldn't even say why she was being so perverse about it. If he wanted her badly enough he would follow.   
  
Duo padded from the bathroom absently running the towel through his hair tossing it on the chair he tightened the one on his waist as he moved to the dresser for his comb. Grabbing his gun he swung around toward the corner of the room and aimed.   
  
"Come out of there slow." For a moment the silence stretched and the room was a shifting mass of shadows relieved only by the thin swath of light from the bathroom and the billowing white curtains by garden door. Slowly it stood and merged into a definable form they stood there at an impasse guns drawn until Duo slumped his hand falling to his side.  
  
"Damn it Heero you have got to stop doing that."   
  
Heero moved silently forward his eyes glittered in the darkened room as he griped Duo's chin. "Where is Relena?" Duo stilled searching Heero's face intently he slowly lifted his hand and gently clasped the arm holding his face.   
  
"Probably where she always is on the beach."   
  
Heero held his gaze before looking pointedly at the bed. "Not always."  
  
Duo sighed. "No, not always. Look I know your pissed but she wouldn't let me tell you where we were going." Duo slowly pulled his chin loose and slid his hand down to clasp Heero's. "She got rid of her security and we both want her protected there was no choice I knew you would follow." He shrugged. "I think this time she was testing you."   
  
Heerro's eyes narrowed and swept the room the moon was full tonight he cringed mentally at the thought of her out in the open alone unprotected. He could see the garden through the billowing curtain. The wind had picked up filling the room with the scent of flowers and sea and.. Relena.   
  
She stood just beyond the filmy curtain her gaze pinned on his as her hand lifted pushing it aside. For a moment she caught a glimpse of relief in his eyes before they became shuttered and hard once more. Relena moved into the room by instinct alone her long silken dress trailing behind her like princesses of old until she slid between them. She leaned back enough until she felt the cool moisture dotting Duo's chest. Her hand lifted to slide down Heero's arm until she reached the gun. Without taking her eyes from his her other hand gently pried his fingers away.   
  
"I'm sorry I scared you. Don't be angry I didn't really give Duo a choice." She gingerly took the gun and passed it to Duo. "You wont need that. Not with us." Heero swallowed and a flicker of uncertainty crossed his face.   
  
"Relena. I..." He faltered then snaked an arm around her waist and jerked her forward. He met Duo's sympathetic gaze over her head before he closed his eyes burying his face in the fall of her hair maybe there was a god out there and he hadn't forsaken him completely. Maybe it would be alright. Her hand continued to stroke soothingly down his back.   
  
"We will be fine. We'll find a way. Somehow." She promised.   
  
Relena felt Duo step forward and enclose them both within his arms and she closed her eyes savoring the feeling it wasn't as hard as she thought it would be. She felt loved, cherished wrapped snuggly in silken steel and after some thought she decided it wasn't a feeling she wanted to give up anytime soon. Relena shifted enough so she could lean back and cup his cheek.  
  
"I missed you Heero."   
  
"Relena."   
  
"Shssh." Her hands drifted to the edge of his shirt and lifted it over his head. Glancing at Duo she tugged on his towel and watched it land with a small smile before she met Heero's look once more. She then released the clasp on her caftan and let it slide to the floor in a silken splash of color. Heero's eyes drifted down her body as she took both their hands and stepped back tugging them toward the bed.   
  
"You'll have to help me this will be new territory for me." Like a sleepwalker Heero let her lead him toward the bed and remove his pants. "How should we start?" She pushed him down on the bed and followed him straddling his waist. Relena leaned forward and lightly brushed his lips "Or.." She sat up again and drew Duo's hands forward placing them on her thighs and rubbed them up and down.   
  
"Should we do whatever feels good?" She tilted her head allowing Duo better access as he nuzzled past her hair and trailed kisses along the curve of her neck. Her eyes narrowed into to heavy-lidded slits as she gazed down at him and sighed when Duo's hands lifted and gently cupped her breasts.   
  
"Is this what you wanted Heero?"   
  
As if freed he sat up and cupped her face. As light as a butterfly he took her mouth gently at first then with increasing intensity it seemed as if he was trying to absorb her into his skin. Heero pulled away enough to sink his hand in Duo's hair and pull him forward covering his mouth hungrily with his. They stroked her slowly building her desire expertly each having an intimate knowledge of her that they built on and honed and just when she thought she couldn't take anymore they teased her by touching each other.  
  
Now that there was no need for secrecy they seemed to revel in her watching them touch and taste one another and where they led she followed as they shifted and reshifted enjoying the freedom in the ever changing positions. Relena splayed her hands across Heero's chest and then slowly impaled herself to the hilt on his cock. Once she was in as far as she could go a shiver seem to ripple through his body.   
  
Looking down she took in the cloudy confusion in his eyes the love the lust the vulnerability and the sight made her clench around him. Heero groaned his hands lifting to her waist and kneaded arching back she felt Duo shift her hair to the side and trail kisses down her back kissing her spine she felt his hands slide up to her shoulders and urge her forward. Then something cool and slick brushed teasingly against the entrance of her rear lubricating it thoroughly gradually working deeper into her.   
  
Relena moaned the deep swiveling and clenching against Heero faltered when Duo started working her anal cavity. Kissing her shoulder Duo slowly withdrew his finger murmuring a protest she reached back.   
  
"Easy Angel I don't want to hurt you." Duo pushed himself in by increments once he was all the way in he placed his hand over Heero's on her waist and steadied himself. He dropped his head back and swallowed.  
  
"Christ I've died and gone to heaven."   
  
"Beautiful."   
  
At Heero's husky whisper Duo and Relena's eyes opened and met his. Her mouth had a moment to curve into a smile and then they started moving in earnest. They rocked her between them first Duo then Heero long and deep slow and steady each pulling out as far as they could without leaving her silken warmth only to thrust home when they couldn't stand the separation any longer.   
  
Relena noticed as soon as she got to the edge they would pull back changing the rhythm once more so the dance would continue longer. Nearly mindless she arched back wrapping her arms around Duo's neck and rolled her head wantonly against his shoulder when Heero sat up and took first one breast then the other in his mouth back and forth he went between the two licking sucking biting.   
  
Duo pressed a kiss against the curve of her ear as he rammed back into her their pace quickening by some unspoken signal and Relena was torn unsure whether to push Heero deeper or to thrust back into Duo as they all strained to reach satisfaction. She felt Duo's hand tighten for a fraction of a second on her waist then slide down between she and Heero to caress her nub.  
  
That's all it took. The world seemed to explode in a flash of pure white behind her eyes. Relena heard a hoarse shout and felt Duo's helplessly shuddering and his boneless collapse as his head came to rest on her shoulder while Heero sent two more deep thrusts up and against her still quivering walls before he threw his arms around them both and moaned his completion.  
  
  
* * * * * * * *   
  
  
Relena slowly came awake her sleep-clouded eyes taking in the shadows filling the room. Turning her head toward the door she idly noted dawn wasn't far away and suddenly the urge to greet it out weighed the lure of warm tangled covers and arms and legs. Slipping from the bed she grabbed the sheet trailing off the bed and wrapped it around her as she moved through the room and down toward the beach.  
  
Heero's came awake in a rush, the moment she eased from the bed.Giving her a head start he then began untangling himself from Duo's hair stood and dressed. Grabbing his gun from the dresser he slipped it into the small of his back and followed her down to the beach.  
  
She couldn't hear him unless he wanted her to but she knew he was there watching her protecting her yes even loving her in his own way.   
  
"You know when you left it felt like a part of me had been ripped away. But I survived it because I knew you had endured things I couldn't begin to comprehend and as much as I wanted to gift you with peace you had to do that yourself." She turned toward him and he winced at the trail of tears silently trickling down her face.   
  
"But some days I thought I would go mad desperately praying this would be the day you called or emailed or came in person. I had a suicidal brother after all I didn't want to have to worry about you as well. Because as callous as it sounds I would survive his passing but I wasn't so sure about yours." She turned back toward the ocean the sky was a purple color now and she kept her eye fixed on the horizon so she wouldn't miss what promised to be a beautiful sunrise.  
  
"Then Duo came and suddenly getting up to face the day got a little easier an yet as often as I asked he always kept his silence about you. I never knew whether you were dead or alive happy or sad. Safe.." She trailed off.   
  
He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her pulling her back against his chest. "You have an odd effect on the decisions I make. Doing what I should do regardless the cost. I.." He fumbled awkwardly for words.  
  
"There is a darkness in me that..." He frowned and tried again.   
  
"I find my thoughts filled with you instead of my objective. I stayed away hoping you would forget me.. Praying I could forget..." He whispered. "Duo... We kept each other sane and I found through him I could still be apart of your life without dragging you down with me. But I miscalculated the impact you had on me it didn't lessen it grew." He buried his face in the fragrant silk of her hair.   
  
"You say you love me? I envy the ease in which you do that. Is what I feel for you and Duo love? I don't know... Probably yes but it's such a simple word for what I feel. I need you like air to breath. If you're late or the news reports some incident and I'm not with you I feel a cold that goes bone deep until I see you're alright. Your smile is the headiest rush I've ever felt and if I had fifty years with you both it still wouldn't be enough. I would do anything to keep you safe and anything not to loose you. I made a mistake. Now you know I'm not perfect. But I can't even tell you I wouldn't do it again if I thought it would prevent you from leaving me." His arms tightened painfully around her. "I can't loose you now. I just can't." Her head fell back against his chest.   
  
"Look Heero." Her voice was hushed and full of awe. "It's beautiful."   
  
He eyes left the sun to look at the wash of light that softly bathed her skin and the wonder on her face. "Yes Beautiful.." Relena blushed slightly as she caught his meaning.   
  
She held his gaze intently. "A New day, new beginnings for the three of us. But together this time?" Heero studied her solemnly then smiled. She was so caught up at the sweetness of his smile she almost missed his acceptance. "Together always..."   
  
  
  
Fini  
  
May 2001  



End file.
